Day 228: The End?

So here we are, the final post I will be writing of the Erratic Ramblings of an Uneducated Daydreamer. It has been one hell of a ride. As I started writing this, this day seemed unfathomable, yet I was always trying to think of some way to end it. The whole way through I have been trying to touch upon something profound. As I started writing about my journey it truly was just something I did for me, then when I began getting messages from people who enjoyed it, I felt compelled to finish. I thank you all for your kind words, without them I’d have stopped long ago. It has been extremely difficult for me to write about everything I have seen and done over these past 7 and a half months. Everything from the most microscopic to the most behemoth experience has been ineffable. I encourage all of you reading this to go travelling, it’s not a lifestyle choice they teach you in school, had it not been for Sarah encouraging me to do it in the first place I’d have never known it existed. Before this trip I never knew what I wanted, I was closed off from the world working 34 hours a week in a warehouse, I had no idea of other people’s ways and beliefs, and now I’ve had my eyes well and truly opened. This trip has also been the closest thing to freedom I will ever get. I cannot stress upon you how much better I feel within myself everyday, compared to how I did back home, waking up to go to a job I wasn’t passionate about. I have found a release in writing, and possibly a future career. When this is all over I may consider pursuing it. The pen truly is mightier than the sword, all I can hope for is that someone reading this has been inspired to go travelling themselves. It sure as hell beats a nine to five…
So ladies and gentlemen, for one last time, please allow me to entertain you with what happened on our final day in Asia.

Yaaaaaaaay, finally, a morning where we stayed asleep until the alarm clock rang at 8:45am. Rather than get up and go for breakfast right away, we put on the last 40 minutes of the movie – although I convinced Sarah to do this by saying “it’s alright, we’ll only watch 10 minutes”. Her love of all things Oz got the better of her and it was 9:30am before she turned it off out of panic. Sarah feared we’d miss breakfast if we left it any longer. We got ready and enjoyed our final buffet breakfast of the day, although neither if us could eat very much. It made me believe the hotel staff added something to the food to make it more filling, but this is just a conspiracy theory. In reality we just didn’t feel hungry in the first place. Afterwards we got back in the lift to finish off the last of the film… there was only 30 seconds remaining. We put on one episode of “Arrested Development” then got ready for the beach.

The Internet was down first thing this morning, but while we were getting ready we received a phone call from reception. They told us somebody had been in to fix it and everything was back online. We needed to print off our flight confirmation ready for our one way flight to Perth later that evening. Rather than take our passports out with us, we took pictures of our details, then used the hotel’s laptop to print off what we needed. We were now one step closer to leaving Asia, which made us both sad and excited at the same time. Instead of thinking about all the things to look forward to, all we could think of were the things we’d be leaving behind… bye bye fruit shakes, bye bye cheap massage parlours, bye bye cheap food, bye bye cheap accommodation, basically bye bye everything cheap. Feeling slightly blue we put the printouts in the bag and caught a taxi to the beach.

The security guard helped us cross the road again, and got the attention of a passing taxi. The driver switched on the meter, then dropped us off at the other end of Legian beach to yesterday. This was better for us as it was less busy, and the tide was still out, there was no chance we’d float off on any loungers. After only 5 minutes we found a series of unoccupied loungers. A man came running out enthusiastically and sold us two beds. I then got to work on my blog in the shade, while Sarah read her kindle in the sun – it’s no wonder she’s so brown. When I was nearing completion, the enthusiastic salesman was making his way back from a potential customer, when he stopped to chat with me. He asked where I was from and for my name, I told him, then he said his name was Puldro, and that he spent a year of his life in Greenwich, London. He had met a girl in Bali 5 years ago and she flew him to England to be with her. I don’t think it worked out as otherwise he wouldn’t have been selling us the beds. After our brief chat he told me if we needed anything we were all but to ask, then he returned to the shaded area below the trees with his friends.

After I’d finished editing my blog I moved the bed into the sun and allowed myself to cook at a temperature of around 30•C for several hours. Because we were at a quieter spot of the beach not many people passed. It was a far cry from the people watching I was able to do yesterday. There were no men with monkeys, nor were there any large breasted women to admire. The time was getting on for 3:15pm when we concluded our final day at the beach, we then took a slow stroll through town. Along the way we both made a couple purchases, Sarah bought a new pair of sunglasses, while I procured a bag to help distribute the overall weight of my luggage. It appeared as though Australia was very stringent with weight limits. If the holdalls were over 15kg just slightly it would result in an additional charge. We were now low on money after those purchases, we had only 50,000 (just over £3) left to cover the taxi fare, hotel bill, and dinner later on. On top of that we had to pay an additional cost of 200,000 (nearly £14) for late check out. This meant rather than leave our bags in storage from midday onwards, we would be allowed to return to our room and check out at the later time of 6pm. We would then only have 4 hours to wait before our flight. A stones throw from the shop was a bank, we went inside and withdrew 1,000,000 rupiah (£60) then hailed a taxi back to our hotel. It was then a case of taking one last shower, packing the bags, and settling our bill.

The packing went on a lot longer than either of us had predicted. After an hour we were still moving items about to ensure our holdalls didn’t exceed the weight limit. To ensure they didn’t we put on our heavier items such as jeans, trainers, and hoodies. This was something we hadn’t done in a while, and each item felt foreign as they clung to our bodies. For the time being it was hell, the temperature outside was in the high twenties, but it was something that would pay off when we landed in Perth. According to our friends Beth and Adam the temperature there was somewhere between 6 – 8•C. This was terrible news, the whole time we’d been in Asia we didn’t have to worry about seasons because they simply didn’t have them, now we were going somewhere that was in the worst of the four… winter. When we finally juggled all the items about and fastened all the clips of our bags, we left the confines of our a/c room and went to reception.

The staff put our bags into storage, and we paid the debt on our room bill. After that we went out for dinner. The security guard outside told us there were plenty of restaurants just a ten minute walk away, but when you’re wearing jeans that small amount of time feels like forever. He helped us cross the busy street, then we followed his directions until we found a rather expensive looking Chinese seafood restaurant. For the final meal of our Southeast Asian adventure we had a feast. The pair of us ordered several dishes to share. We started off with roasted pork in honey sauce, followed by sweet and sour chicken, then kung pow chicken. Each dish was exquisite and added a perfect end to our journey. However, the bill that followed was a bit painful, there was an extortionate tax and service charge of 21%, I did say the place looked expensive. As we entered, the car park was empty, but as we left it was filled with Mercedes Benz and BMW’s, had we seen that at the beginning we would have probably given it a miss. On the walk back we had to pass a family of beggars. The children lacked the etiquette it requires to gain something from strangers, I say this because one of them said to Sarah “give me your water!” Which she did, but only because she wanted to, or so she claimed. She said she’d rather they had it considering we’d just eaten an expensive meal. We then walked the last few hundred yards towards our hotel and crossed the busy street unaided.

We were quite sweaty and sticky by now, so to help cool down we sat in the bar area that had a/c. The machines were set to 16•C, this felt just right, too bad Perth was currently half of this. As we sat at a table, Sarah used the Internet to write to Beth and let her know our e.t.a. On the other side of the table I was given one last parting gift by the ever friendly Mosquitos. Without realising it, until it was too late, one of the blood suckers had taken a sample from one of my index fingers. I was livid. After Sarah came back from the bathroom she told me there were loads flying around in there. When I felt the need to go, I exacted my revenge. I swung and swatted but kept missing, until I saw a single one pitched on the wall. BLAAAM!!!!! Double whammy! Somehow I’d managed to kill two Mosquitos with one hand. The balance was now restored, I washed my hands and returned to Sarah to tell her of my victory… she didn’t care. Shortly after, we arranged for a taxi to collect us and waited outside with our bags.

When our taxi showed up, the driver helped throw the bags in the boot. It was clear roads all the way to the airport, and no sooner than we got used to the a/c in his vehicle, we had arrived. All the porters were waiting at the drop off point, offering their services to all new arrivals. I told one particular man that we didn’t need his assistance, then we struggled to the check in terminal. Had we known it would be as far away as it was, we’d have probably paid the small fee for some help. We showed the officials our flight confirmation and were granted access to the security check in scanners. Because I was wearing jeans I had the pleasure of removing my belt. I narrowly escaped embarrassment as I rushed through to grab it before my bottoms fell down. We then went over to the check in counter to weigh our bags in. They were just on the limit, meaning we didn’t have to pay any additional fees. Now we were free of our holdalls we had the pleasure of paying to leave the country. Yes that’s right, to leave Indonesia you actually have to pay an exit fee. It’s not enough that you have to pay to enter the country, they demand additional money as you leave. Begrudgingly we handed over 300,000 rupiah for the pair of us before being allowed to enter the departure lounge.

They’re the same the world over, extortionate convenient stores, duty free perfume, alcohol, and cigarettes, and the always present souvenir shops. We took a look at the various perfumes on offer, before leaving the shop to find a bench where we could sit and await our flight. There were so many Australian tourists waiting to fly home that you’d be forgiven for thinking you’d already arrived. Surprisingly we were called through ahead of time. We had to go through a second security check, where once again I had to remove my belt. As I walked through the scanner the young security guard on the other side laughed when he saw me holding up my jeans. He then jokingly asked me to raise my hands so he could swipe me with the metal detector. We all laughed, then I fumbled to put on my belt before more bags came through the X-ray machine. Our flight wasn’t scheduled to leave until 10:25pm, but we were allowed to board ahead of time of 9:50pm. We handed over our boarding passes, located our seats, then waited for take off.

Halfway into the flight I closed my eyes ready to go to sleep, but without warning there was a sudden shudder from external turbulence that rocked the cabin. Immediately I opened my eyes only to not believe what I was seeing. I sat up and rubbed my eyes to get clearer vision. Four walls covered with wood chip wallpaper surrounded me. Fixed to one of the walls was a flat screen television set. Through the window was the view of a neighbouring terrace block, and an energetic Jack Russell looked out from the window ledge wagging his tail furiously at the passing post lady. I recognised this place instantly. I was in my bedroom back home in England. It turned out these past seven and a half months hadn’t happened at all, in fact, it had been all but a dream….

Ahhhhhhh, I’m just kidding, I wouldn’t do you like that. Of course I haven’t been dreaming, how would I have added the photos of my experiences had I been. Besides Sarah tells me, to end a book with “and it was all a dream” is the worst possible way, it constantly annoys her when it happens in the books she reads. When I learned of that I thought it would be clever if I could incorporate it into my blog somehow. For 7 months I’ve been waiting to write that ending, ever since Sarah first told me about it. Not to keep you in suspense any longer, what really happened during the flight. I stayed awake working on the final post for the whole 2 hours. When we landed we had to go through the rather strict immigration, I say strict, it was more the way they sounded than acted. When it came to telling them where we’d be staying in Australia, all we could say was Beth and Adam’s house. Apparently that was enough, from the looks of things, this place really was laid back. Our bags were two of the first to arrive on the carousel, we just about grabbed them before they disappeared through the second door. We showed the security guard our yellow slip to gain access to the country, then headed towards the exit. There they both were, Beth and Adam were waiting for us with a cup of coffee in their hands. We shook their hands and gave them hugs, then we left the airport to begin a brand new journey together…

Now that we know it wasn’t all a dream, I would like to take some time to say a massive thank you to everyone I have met along the way. Without your presence in some of the places Sarah and I have visited, it wouldn’t be what it was. I won’t do any shout outs because there were so many of you, and if I forget to put anyone’s name in here it could lead to arguments. In one way or another, each and everyone of you have helped me grow as a person. The hard truths I was forced to learn, and my little quirks some of you picked up on have made me stronger and better than before. I owe so much to the people we’ve met along the way, the strangers who have helped us out at a moments notice, and my family for being so supportive, encouraging me to pursue this once in a lifetime journey. I would also like to thank the company I worked for back home, the redundancy money I received helped fund this trip. More thanks go out to all the people who have subscribed to, and liked posts from my blog right from the very start. I know at the beginning the posts were long, but as the days went on I endeavoured to make them more concise. Words can’t describe how I’m feeling right now as I sit on this plane to Perth (well maybe one… tired), to everyone I’ve met, I love you all, I believe we met for a reason and I hope the world continues to be kind to you. For my last thank you, and probably the most important of them all…

Sarah Duxbury.

Without your constant encouragement to make me leave England we both know I never would have. I know I’ve not been the easiest person to travel with. This blog took up a lot of my time, meaning you did 90% of the research and arrangements, which I love you for. Thank you for having the patience to stick with me as I slaved away into the night writing like a madman. But I am a free man now, and although we won’t be together 24 hours a day anymore, I promise all my free time will be spent with you. You’re a brave girl coming to Australia, what with your incapacitating fear of spiders, but that’s what makes you great. I can say things like this because I know you’ll never read this post, like you haven’t any of the others. You’ll continue to mock my blog like you do, never fully knowing just how much I appreciate you. I love you Sarah Duxbury, and from the bottom of my heart, thank you for the kick up the arse to leave our little bubble back home.

Now I’d like to end this blog by paraphrasing “Big Chris” from the movie “lock stock, and two smoking barrels”…

“Thank you Southeast Asia, it’s been emotional!”

Day 227: See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Is This Evil?

One day remains of this blog guys, then I’ll be free.

We spent the majority of today on the beach, soaking up the last of the Asian sun before we left for Australia the following evening. Although on occasion I reluctantly do a lot of things Sarah suggests, more often than not I do enjoy doing them. For example, had I not gone to the beach with her today I wouldn’t have seen a man sunbathing with his pet monkeys. Yes folks you read that correctly, there was a man on the beach with not one, but two monkeys… but we’ll get to that. After the beach we returned to the hotel for a few hours, then headed back out for an evening meal. All in all it was a good end to our Asian adventure, now allow me to explain what else happened on this day.

Sarah got her wish this morning when we got up early. The cheeky so and so woke me up 15 minutes before the alarm, our bed was so big that I didn’t feel her get out, it was only when I heard the toilet flush that I awoke. We then got dressed and went for breakfast. I took advantage of the buffet for the second day running, then we returned to the room to apply sun lotion and pack a bag for the beach. When we got downstairs the security guard helped us hail a taxi again, but this time there weren’t that many on the street. There was tons of traffic but few taxis. Eventually, after blowing his whistle to halt the traffic, he helped us cross the 6 lane motorway to a cab that had pulled over for us. Rather than go back to Kuta beach, we got him to drop us at Legian. In theory they were the same beach, it was just so long that it stretched over both Kuta and Legian. We walked a few hundred yards from the entrance to get away from the sewage like smell, and paid for a couple loungers for the day. I then got to work on yesterday’s blog, and wrote an introduction to the Erratic Ramblings for anyone yet to discover it. It was shortly after I’d finished, that the man with the monkeys arrived.

As he led sunbathing on a lounger, one of them led beside him like a hairy child. I’d never seen a monkey sunbathe before, and let me tell you, it’s quite amusing. I understand the severity of the situation, it was wrong that the monkeys were with him in the first place, but it’s not something you see everyday, and the sad thing is it’s not something you can do much about anyway. I don’t quite know how long this man had owned the monkeys for but they were in no rush to get away from him. There are two sides to every story, so maybe this man hadn’t killed their mother to get the babies like most poachers do, maybe instead he had rescued them. After all they seemed to love his company and all the fruit he gave them. Perhaps they were just in it for the fruit. And unlike most poachers, he wasn’t allowing people to hold them for photographic purposes. It’s weird to think that Sarah and I are accustomed to such sights now, I’m scared to think what would actually shock me these days.

Sarah and I continued to sunbathe until we began feeling thirsty. We left our loungers, at the risk of losing them, to grab some water from a nearby shop. When we got back we were fortunate enough for them to still be available. It was then back to sunbathing. Being the gentleman that I am, I “definitely” don’t notice other women, but today was an exception. As I led soaking up the sun, a woman with very large breasts came walking by. Much like the man with the monkeys, it was hard not to notice. There’s no other point to be made here, I just felt I had to write about it. Without warning the tide came in and was as high as our loungers. Sarah had had enough of sunbathing anyway (if you can believe that) and suggested we head back to the hotel to watch a film.
“Sold to the blonde haired woman at the back!”
I thought that was a great idea and packed our bag immediately. Before we could do that, we needed to collect our laundry. We walked a long way up the beach until we found an exit. Too bad we had to go by some shops along the way, Sarah stopped in a few and ended up buying a new sarong. There was an awkward moment when I took interest in some vests, but didn’t actually have enough money to pay for it. I had to explain to the owner I couldn’t buy them, but he thought I was making an excuse and kept reducing the price. In the end we walked away and located the laundrette. As we arrived they were adding the final touches to our clothes, a lady used a fragrant spray to keep them fresh as we transported them back. With 6kg of clothing we hailed a taxi and returned to our hotel.

We stayed in our room for hours this afternoon, partly due to the fact we discovered room service brought cooked meals to us. We took some showers to get rid of the sand from the beach, then we each devoured a burger. I also had an additional plate of spaghetti bolognese because of how good it was last night. Although we came back to the room to watch a movie, we didn’t actually get round to it. After I’d finished messing about with my blog, I played my Nintendo for a bit, while Sarah plucked her legs. It was around 5:30pm before Sarah said she wanted to go to the beach for sunset. We had been in Bali for over two weeks now and hadn’t managed to see a good one in all that time. In the distance she could see the large hot ball descending, and informed me there is a classic photo people take of it setting, which she also wanted to capture. I was still playing on my Nintendo while Sarah was waiting to go, it took me 5 minutes to save what I was doing and turn it off, then we had the pleasure of catching a taxi outside.

The usual security guard had finished his shift for the day and was sat with a friend conversing. He didn’t want to help us hail one this time, so it took us twice as long to get one to stop. The fist few wouldn’t take us for anything less than 50,000 rupiah (just over £3), which was double the usual cost. Then a random driver stopped and tried charging us 100,000 rupiah, again we said no. Eventually one stopped and took us on the meter to the beach. For some reason the traffic appeared to be redirected as we grew closer, meaning we had to take a lot of side streets to get to our destination. We ended up getting stuck in traffic no more than 200m from the beach. We paid the man and decided to get out and walk the rest of the way. It was too late when we arrived, the sun had gone and Sarah was angry. An argument ensued as to why we missed it, with me getting defensive when Sarah blamed me straight away. I only had a small part in it, but I’d like to think the 10 minutes waiting for a cab, and the 15 minute car journey had something to do with it as well. We still sat on the beach and watched the sky go through the colour spectrum, before taking some pictures and moving on. Now that Sarah and I resented each other slightly, we didn’t really want to do anything. Sarah claimed it was our last night in Bali and it was ruined. I did my best to cheer her up as we walked along the beach in an attempt to find the beachwalk shopping centre. That didn’t happen, and only fuelled the fire worse when I guided us the wrong way entirely. Along the beach, a little farther away, we saw a sign which read “turtle release 4:30pm”, another thing we had missed, this also didn’t help matters. We kept walking until we eventually reached a different mall. It was filled with designer shops, all of which we couldn’t afford to shop in, so we walked straight through and asked for directions. A local man set us straight, and saw an opportunity to drive us in his taxi. We said “no thanks”, then continued to walk a new part of Bali we hadn’t seen before. Building after building, there was nothing but expensive restaurants and surf brand shops. When we got back to familiar territory we explored the markets and found the beachwalk mall. By now we were scarcely low on money, and the only way we could afford to buy branded clothing would be if we were to make a withdraw. Seeing as we didn’t have our cards on us, we left after only 5 minutes.

We then walked down Poppy Street to find somewhere to eat tea. By now Sarah had perked up a bit and we were talking to each other again. Although I wished we weren’t, every time Sarah spoke she tried encouraging me to get a massage with her. Along the road someway, we stumbled upon a cheap massage parlour, and just to shut Sarah up we went in. Now, you remember earlier when I said I reluctantly do things Sarah suggests, but actually end up enjoying them? Well this would be one of those times. We had a half hour reflexology treatment, followed by a half hour back massage. Both of which came to a total of £5 at the end, very cheap I think you’ll agree. I preferred the reflexology to the back massage as I’d never had it done before, although, having a stranger rub my feet is a punishment I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. It felt really nice and I nearly fell asleep, but there was a slight painful sensation when he squeezed the little toe of my right foot. I didn’t know what that meant, so later that evening I researched. Apparently the little toe is connected to your ears, maybe I’m going deaf. I think Sarah was really chuffed with not only the foot rub, but also with what the lady had to say. She compared her arm with Sarah’s and told her they had the same coloured skin – this was by far the best compliment anyone could give to Sarah. After the half hour was up it was time for our backs to be pampered. I didn’t enjoy it much, as the whole time it made me aware of just how much weight I’ve lost. There was no muscle anywhere for my masseur to work. As he rubbed the oil into my back I could feels his fingers playing my ribs like a skeletal xylophone. Had I gone there at the start of the trip it would’ve been another story entirely, there was plenty muscle to work with then. My treatment was concluded with an Indian head massage, I found it very difficult to answer his question while he did this because of how relaxed it made me, I was like putty in his hands. When the hour was up we paid the cost and left them with a tip, then we went to Mozzarella for tea.

This was the restaurant we’d eaten at with Sarah’s parents. The food was so good then that it brought us back for a second visit. I ordered a massive helping of pork ribs. In their menu it claimed to be one of their best dishes, and I’m not surprised, it was fantastic. Sarah had an equally as tasty dish when she ordered the mushroom and cream pasta. Surprisingly, for the size of food we ordered it took no time at all to arrive, it couldn’t have been any longer than 10 minutes maximum. As we sat opposite each other at a candle lit table we contemplated everything we’d done so far. We were really sad to think this was our last full day in Asia, the past 8 months had flown by. Neither of us were fully ready to embark on an Australia adventure next, we were still having too much fun up in the clouds, but all good things must come to an end. We couldn’t have asked for better meals than the ones we had, afterwards we settled the bill, then went outside to find a taxi.

Because it was a quiet road it didn’t take long, and the driver didn’t charge us much. We were a little farther away from our hotel now, so rather than have a meter running we agreed a price of 30,000 (£2) to get back. As we grew closer I pointed out our hotel to the driver and he dropped us at the entrance. We then climbed in the elevator to the second floor and retired to our room. I used my phone to Skype my mum again, as it rang I looked in the mirror and saw the full extent of my sunburn from earlier that day. My lower back and upper legs were scarlet. My bum now looked whiter than ever. It was only a short call lasting around half an hour, but in that time my mum mocked my tan lines. After that I had a quick shower, then we attempted to watch a movie in bed. This didn’t work for one reason, when watching a movie with Sarah, she tends to like having all the lights off. This in turn made us tired, so much so that for the second night running we had to pause the movie. I then struggled to stay awake as I wrote this post before going to bed.

Day 226: Cowabunga Dude

Only 2 days remain of the Erratic Ramblings guys, get it while it’s hot. Today was a sad day, we lost two more fellow travellers. Yes ladies and gents, both Ann and Simon left us to fly back home to their lives in England. It left a void that we tried to fill with shopping and the beach. With the parents gone we were back to our lazy ways, after going out in the afternoon we remained at the hotel. That’s basically it, but here I go once again explaining everything else that happened.

Our alarm was set for 8:15am, it was Ann and Simon’s last day so it was only fair to enjoy breakfast at a time that suited them. Even though I was shattered because I hadn’t finished my blog until close to 3am, I got up when the alarm rang – and believe me, I really didn’t want to. We knocked for them at their room, then we all devoured a very nice breakfast. It was buffet, and they had everything from bacon to fruit. I had a couple bowls of cereals, some fruit, bacon and egg, a croissant, and some coffee. Needless to say I was full afterwards. Because Ann and Simon only had until midday we decided to spend their final few hours looking around the nearby Carrefour. We quickly popped back to the room to rifle through our bags and see what we could give Sarah’s parents to take home. We both found a few items which cleared a significant amount of space, then the four of us met in the lobby before setting off.

The Carrefour (a word I just learned that day) was all of 500m down the road from our hotel. Inside it sold everything you could want and more. It consisted of three levels. The ground floor sold cars and had a couple restaurants. The first floor had an arcade and a handful of small shops. The second floor contained nothing but local eateries and a few more shops. The third and final floor was a ginormous supermarket. As we ascended the many levels, we lost the girls instantly on the second floor when they spotted a shoe shop. Like magpies to shiny objects, they were all over it. Simon and myself decided to leave them to it and went on ahead to the supermarket. They had a great electronics section full of gadgets, much like the girls to shoes, we found our obsession. It was there I fell in love with a 55 inch 3d television. Never had I seen an image so sharp and clear, nor had I ever seen 3d so perfect. The tv put cinemas to shame. I was both entranced and mesmerised by its beauty, I couldn’t peel myself away, every image looked as though it was coming at me. It only got better from there, we then found another tv that was connected to the Internet, and its remote acted like a wand. Wherever I moved it the sensor on the screen moved with it, I felt like a wizard in that very moment. After we’d spent the best part of 40 minutes looking at electronic gadgetry we decided to look for the girls. They were in the supermarket flitting between the various aisles when we found them, Sarah bought a couple items then we left for our hotel.

The time was getting on now and Ann and Simon had about 40 minutes left before their taxi was scheduled to arrive. That was enough time for us to enjoy some final drinks together. We ordered a few beers and took them to the roof terrace. It turned out the leaking roof in our old room was a blessing in disguise. When we reached the terrace there was constant banging coming from a nearby construction sight, had we still been in the old room it would’ve been too noisy. As we sat around the table we took some pictures in the nice weather and enjoyed our drinks, then before we knew it, it was 12pm. We walked Sarah’s parents to the lobby where we said a long goodbye for a second time. Unlike the time we said goodbye in London before we came travelling, this time around it didn’t feel as permanent. It was a strange feeling, like we’d be seeing them again next week. We waved them off as they drove away in the taxi, we waved until they disappeared from sight, Sarah and I then returned to the room for a short while.

Neither of us had done any laundry for a long time, so it was no surprise that I bagged around 85% of what I owned. Sarah had a few items, but nothing to the extremes of my bag. We were doing it now because we didn’t want to show up at Beth and Adam’s house with a bag full of smelly clothes and be like “hey guys, do you mind if we use your washing machine?” I’m sure they wouldn’t have, but we didn’t want to come across as rude. I was left with only a couple items which were already clean, unfortunately the one pair of boardies I had were too big, it was time to use the sewing kit Sarah’s parents had bought me. Sarah to the rescue, she took them in slightly and they now fitted my slender body perfectly. Our hotel charged per item for their laundry, so that was out of the question for my load. Instead we enquired about places in town that did it by the kilo, they didn’t really know of anywhere specific, but told us there were plenty to choose from. With that we took our bags outside and the security guard helped us hail a taxi. For just over £1 the taxi driver dropped us off at Legian street and we located a nearby laundrette. They charged me only 40,000 (just shy of £3) for four kilos of clothing. Not bad at all. Now we were free of the smelly garments we walked around the neighbouring shops.

Because the temperature in Australia would be similar to that of England, we were looking for hoodies. Nowhere sold them bar the expensive branded shops. It’s not like there wasn’t a market for them, it was mostly Australian tourists in Bali on their holidays, so if they came over during their winter surely they’d want warmer clothing to take home. We spent a couple hours scouring the streets, stopping in various skate shops admiring their items, but not actually wanting to pay their steep prices. After many shops had been entered and exited we found a little restaurant to eat lunch. Our meals were tasty, as was the added tax and service charge on the bill. After we paid the high 15% tax and additional service fee we went to the beach. The one thing this beach had that the others didn’t was entertainment. In the waters riding atop the waves were hundreds of surfers. Some were pros, others were just learning, but it was fun to watch regardless of their skill level. Some of the bails made us wince, it didn’t look pretty any time somebody face planted the shallow water, or received a surfboard to the back of the head. We sat for a while before moving down the beach a little farther. On the way we passed countless surf schools, all of which asked us if we were interested in learning. I was, but couldn’t afford it. The beach was full of people for some unknown reason, at first we thought there may have been surfing competitions, but there wasn’t. Many people were just taking pictures of the surfers for their own purposes. The whole time we were there Sarah kept comparing her tan to other girls.
“Gah, look at her tan, she’s so brown. Tomorrow I want to spend the whole day on the beach!” – terrific news for me! After a couple hours passed, we stopped in a nearby shop for snacks before catching a taxi back to the hotel. It took a few before we found a driver willing to take us on the meter, then the second we got into the car it began raining. Perfect timing.

The driver missed our hotel and began driving back down the road. As soon as we told him, he smacked on the brakes and came to a grinding halt beside the road. He apologised sincerely, we told him it was fine, paid the money, then walked 10m back to the entrance. The pair of us returned to the room to relax for a while, where we ended up staying until 8:30pm. It took me a lot longer than expected to read through the previous day’s blog, around 2-3 hours. I was so tired when I’d written it the previous evening that I pretty much had to rewrite all of it again. It was about 7pm by the time I’d finished and uploaded it. I then Skyped my mum to see how she was doing, thankfully everything was good and we had a great conversation. Afterwards Sarah and I went back to the Carrefour for something to do. We bought a delicious strawberry fruit shake to share, then spent the rest of our time in the supermarket. I went back to the new love of my life… the 3d tv, and took some pics for the blog. Sarah bought a couple more items, including crisps to replace the ones she’d stolen from the room’s minibar, then we bought another shake and returned to Sun Boutique Hotel.

Because we still hadn’t eaten tea yet, we ordered food from the hotel’s restaurant. What a smart decision that was. I chose the spaghetti bolognese, and hands down it topped any others before it. The chef had even chopped up the noodles to make them more manageable, as if I were a child. It was so flavoursome that I could’ve easily eaten 6 servings. Sarah was chatting with her sister the whole time she ate, and was practically in tears every time her niece made her laugh. When we’d finished eating we tried to take the conversation upstairs, that way Sarah wouldn’t have to shout over the top of the passing traffic outside. Unfortunately the Internet didn’t work in our room, but because my Skype was still signed in from earlier that evening, Sarah noticed my nan was online. I then had the pleasure of running around the hotel trying to find a good enough signal to speak with the queen of the family. Ground floor, 1st, 2nd, and 3rd all offered zero bars. Eventually it dropped off and none of them were sending out any signal at all. I tried one last trick by restarting my device, voila, it worked. I got ahold of my nan and spoke with her from the comfort of the bed in my room. My uncle happened to be around her house at the time, so I briefly got a chance to talk with him too. He wound me up by saying he was enjoying the lions share of nan’s baking now that I was gone. Her cakes are the best things since… her sliced bread. The time was 11:20pm when we said our goodbyes, Sarah and I then attempted to watch a movie, but both of us were far too tired. Somehow I managed to find the energy to write my blog, then got to bed around 1am. Sarah had demanded that an alarm be set for 8:30am, not a minute later, as all day tomorrow she wanted to get sunburnt like the many Aussies we’d seen at the beach today… Oh the joys of travelling with your girlfriend (I’m aware I’ve probably used that line before, but at least each time you know it’s justifiable).

Day 225: Hat Trick

Well today was certainly an emotional roller coaster, particularly for Ann and Sarah at least. After seeing how Ann reacted on the crazy boat crossing I saw where Sarah gets it from. Today saw us packing up and moving on from Lembongan and heading for Kuta. This was the nearest port of call for Ann and Simon to get to the airport, and rather than stay on the island, Sarah and I returned with them. The rest of the day was pretty straightforward after that, we checked in to our hotel, went into town, and finished the evening with a beer at the hotel. Now lets go over what else happened on this wet and stormy day…

I finally got that lie in I’d been craving. Sarah got up ahead of me and began packing her bags. The time must have been around 7:30 when she started. On and off I could hear her rustling about in the background, but was so tired that I kept drifting back off. It was 8:45am by the time I eventually woke up, and Sarah was nowhere in sight. I had only been awake for 5 minutes before she came back. I’d just started packing my bag when she told me “we” are all going for breakfast. I told her to go on ahead with her parents, and I’d be down in 5 minutes when I’d be both finished and more awake. This wasn’t good enough, so to prevent an argument I chucked on some shorts and we all sat around the table. I wasn’t feeling too chatty on accounts of being a little sleepy, but I soon perked up after the Bali coffee. Again, the four of us ate pancakes, then immediately afterwards I returned to the room to pack the last of my things.

It took longer than I’d anticipated, because we were heading to Australia next my bag was bursting at the seams with additional clothing. When I’d finished I returned to the pool to lie on a lounger beside Sarah. I read over the previous days blog and uploaded it to the server, then Sarah returned to the room to pack the last of her things. Simon and Ann were efficient enough to have packed their bags already and went out for a morning stroll. The bags were then stored beside the bar area. As we spent some more time beside the pool a slight disagreement ensued over the return boat times. Seeing as we had a return ticket all we had to do was pick one of three times: 9:30am, 11am, or 3:30pm. Sarah would have preferred the 11am one because of how bad the morning ride was last time, and she feared there would be a storm later that afternoon. How right she was. As we sat around the pool small droplets of rain began to fall. We deemed that a good enough excuse as any to leave and go for dinner. We chose a resort 50m away from ours.

It was getting on for 1pm when we sat to eat. Seeing as we still had a couple hours to burn, and the saying “you never know where your next meal will be coming from” was on my mind, I ordered two dinners. The food was ok, and the views of the crashing waves were delightful, but the constant swarms of flies annoyed us to no end. We couldn’t take a single bite of our meals without having one pitch on our arms. The whole time we sat eating Sarah wound herself up something chronic.
“Oh god, look at those waves”,
“Oh no, look in the distance. Those rain clouds are blocking out the mountains and they’re heading this way”,
“Why didn’t we just get the earlier boat”.
This went on for sometime, and no level of rationalisation helped her nerves. If it wasn’t for the bad experience on the way over she’d have been fine, but because the boat nearly tipped, she feared there would be a repeat performance. Near the end of our meals the weather worsened, causing Sarah to be completely beside herself. After dinner we still had half an hour or so before the boat was scheduled to leave, so we returned to our resort to wait with our bags.

A miracle happened when the storm passed and the sea became as still as a peaceful lake. For a moment it appeared as though Sarah’s worrying had been for nothing… that was until we were about to leave. The shuttle bus arrived 10 minutes early, and no sooner than we grabbed our bags the storm came back with a vengeance. Heavier and faster than before the rain poured down. They even brought their friend thunder along for the ride. The staff helped us throw our bags aboard and guided us out under umbrellas, but when we were seated it got a lot worse. There were no rain guards or plastic sheeting to keep us dry, the rain from the cab roof bounced back into the truck where we were. Sarah and I put the rain covers over our bags, and I held an umbrella up against the gap to prevent any more aquatic onslaught. Ultimately there was little we could do, there was just too much water. The rain was coming down so fast that it sounded like a million Michael Flatly’s dancing on the roof. When we arrived at the beach we were told to wait at a nearby restaurant while the crew prepared the boat. It was a nightmare, Sarah was becoming more and more agitated by the ever increasing bad weather. The road around the shuttle bus was completely flooded, making walking with my bag damn near impossible. There were people helping to carry them, but I didn’t like them doing it when I was perfectly capable. We had to wait all of 15 minutes while they added fuel to the engines and made space for the bags. By now Sarah was fuming, she kept looking out over the sea and felt sick with worry whenever she looked at the fast coming waves. I found the whole thing funny like I always do. There was nothing that could be done about our situation bar see it through, so in my opinion there was no point in worrying about it. I spent the time taking pictures of the bad weather and Sarah’s grumpy face. It wasn’t just Sarah who was worried, Ann was equally as nervous. She hated the first ride so much that she had managed to pass those fears on to her daughter. Simon was just as relaxed about our situation as me, if not more so because of all his years experience at sea from the times he’d gone sailing with his friends. Eventually the boat was primed and ready, and unlike last time, it was a darn sight easier to get aboard.

The waves weren’t pushing the boat left, right, and centre this time around, and everyone got on without falling over. Also unlike last time, there weren’t as many people. There can’t have been any more than 10 of us, during the first trip there were closer to 40. The passengers had to be shifted about for weight displacement purposes before we could go anywhere, then the captain struggled to get the engines going, this didn’t help Sarah relax at all.
“Why isn’t it working?”
“We’re stuck in the middle of the sea now, come on, why isn’t it working?!?!”
First of all we weren’t in the middle of the sea, we were 20ft from the shoreline, secondly he got the engines going in under 5 minutes. Then the real fun began.
BOOM, BANG, WOLLOP!!!!
These were the sounds and feelings as we came crashing down atop the concrete like waves. At the speeds we were going it certainly felt like concrete at least. Occasionally I looked over to see Sarah and Ann, only to be amused each time. Ann had her hands firmly gripped on the seat in front, and her eyes closed and head down. Sarah had her fingers in her ears and also had her eyes closed. I couldn’t help but laugh, there was nothing to worry about. Had sarah not looked at reviews online, or read about the boat journey in the Lonely Planet, she’d be laughing too. Additional sights that made me laugh were the captain and his right hand man. All around the boat were “no smoking” signs, and there they both were puffing away, even the passenger behind me pointed and chuckled. Somewhere close to the halfway mark there was a large wave which hit us side on, this was the only time you could say there was cause for alarm. The boat tipped to one side to quite an extreme degree. This caused Ann and Sarah to both begin crying and fearing for their lives, I think Ann may have even started praying at one point. The captain did extremely well to navigate us through without anything bad happening to us. Even now as I write about it I am impressed with his skills behind the wheel. He reminded me of Denzel Washington in the movie “Flight”, keeping a cool head under pressure. When we reached the mainland it was nothing like the first time at all, there were no big waves, just small gentle ones that lapped lazily against the shore.

On the beach the porters ran back and forth unloading the passengers bags. When one man brought both mine and Sarah’s to us, he stood waiting with an open hand out repeating the word “tip”.
“Tip the porter?” He said over and over, and was quite persistent about it as well. I paid him 10,000 rupiah (80p) for unloading my bag, only for him to ask for more money when he unloaded Sarah’s. When her parent’s bags were unloaded by a different man, that man also demanded money. We pointed to the first man we’d already given 20,000 to and he turned to him to demand some of it. They were like vultures. I didn’t really understand the situation, from what I could gather it appeared as though they charged per bag not per group. Somehow in all the confusion, one of Ann and Simon’s suitcases went missing. Another porter was wheeling it off down the street, but he wasn’t stealing it, he was just helping get it up the stairs. When we caught up and thanked him, he then asked for some money. We explained how we’d already paid a fortune back at the beach, then guiltily took the suitcase from him. They’re like fish after bread, throw a piece in the water and they’ll fight it out amongst themselves. It was sad to see, as clearly this was their way of making money, but we couldn’t exactly give them all money otherwise we’d have paid a fortune to get our bags carried from the boat to the beach.

We had the same driver as before when reached the booking office. However, he didn’t recognise the name of the resort we’d pre booked, after having a word with the people inside, he was clued up and ready to go. I was a little disappointed with the driver today because he wasn’t as chatty as last time, and I wanted to hear his voice again. The way he sounded and the way he rolled his R’s, I could just imagine him being the voice of a charismatic cartoon villain. After 15 minutes driving we ended up in a traffic jam. We were out during rush hour, everyone had finished work and the traffic was gridlocked. Eventually the police came to usher vehicles around, as nobody would let anyone move, this caused junctions to be blocked and scooters to weave in and out of stationary traffic. The driver had to make a couple stops along the way to ask others where Sun Boutique Hotel was, after the third stop we were back on track. I briefly looked out the window at one point and spotted it. He did a quick u-turn at the end of the road (narrowly missing other road users) and dropped us off outside reception.

After checking in we were each given a welcome drink. It didn’t taste nice, but as to not appear rude, I drank both mine and Sarah’s. We were then shown to our large, spacious, futuristic looking rooms. In fact the whole place looked years ahead of its time, even the elevator had touch screen controls. Before heading to our rooms we asked reception if they’d mind ordering a taxi for us for 20 minutes time. Somehow Sarah thought she’d have enough time to shower and blow dry her hair – WRONG. It ended up taking her to 35 minutes to get ready. When we got downstairs there he was, our blue chariot was waiting for us outside. We explained to the driver that we wanted to go to a market, so he took us towards Poppy’s street in Kuta town. We didn’t think he was very happy when we arrived because of how little a distance he ended up driving. Seeing as he was phoned in to collect us, it meant we had to pay the minimum call out fare of 25,000 rupiah (just under £2), even though the meter read only 19,000. We then got out and began exploring.

Kuta was a place for drinking, dining, and shopping. The streets were filled with bars and restaurants, and best of all… market stalls. I didn’t mind shopping here so much as there were no longer tacky items like oils and statues. The stalls resembled those of Thailand, with such items on offer as hats, vests, and shorts. Granted every stall sold the same garments in various shades, but it still beat the markets of Ubud. During our time walking the never ending market stalls, I couldn’t keep my wallet in my pocket. I ended up buying not one, not two, but three new hats (and that’s where today’s title comes from). I couldn’t help myself. There were so many hats in so many different colours, and they were all of good quality like my original one from Malaysia. Sarah also bought some new items, a top and bottoms, and a couple pairs of sunglasses. Even Simon splashed out and bought himself a pair of knock off Ray Ban sunglasses, more commonly known as “Ray Ben” seeing as it was printed on the lenses. Simon also bought another item, but he did it on the sly. He haggled with a stall owner to buy me a new pair of headphones to replace my pair that had broken. I wasn’t expecting it at all, so once again thanks for that Simon, it was very kind of you.

At the end of the street of market stalls was a large shopping complex containing fast food joints, established restaurants, designer shopping outlets, and a cinema. We all had a quick look around but didn’t buy anything. It made me laugh, the whole way around Sarah was complaining about being hungry, yet whenever a shiny new item of clothing appeared, she’d forget about being hungry entirely. When we eventually managed to pry her away, we stopped in a nearby restaurant to look at their menu. This place looked very fancy and was part of the even fancier looking resort it was attached to. The whole fancy factor was completely destroyed when we sat at a table. Instead of relaxing, gentle music you’d associate with such a place, there was loud hardcore rap music in the background. It was so loud that we had to shout to communicate with each other. In the end we decided against eating there and found a quieter, and cheaper place around the corner.

This was our last evening meal together. To commemorate the occasion I enjoyed a mouth watering king sized burger and had a Singapore Sling along with Ann and Sarah, although non of us enjoyed it. For once, I had a burger that stayed together until the last bite. It was perfect, and Sarah impressed me when she ordered a steak instead of a salad like usual. After eating it was straight back out into the world of shopping. We decided we were done with the markets, so instead we went back to the mall. We had to walk through metal detectors this time, Sarah informed us these were put in place because a little while ago there was a bombing in Bali which killed over 100 people. Damn terrorists, you can’t even go shopping now without those jerks spoiling the fun. During our second visit to the Beachwalk shopping mall Sarah made another purchase. She went into one of her favourite girly shops and found the dress her parents couldn’t back home. Fancy that, everywhere Ann and Simon looked it was sold out, yet halfway across the world there it was in all its black and white Aztec glory. We stopped briefly in a Dairy Queen so sarah could show her parents the franchise’s upside down ice cream trick, then after spending a further hour or so wandering around aimlessly, we hailed a taxi back to Sun Boutique.

When we got in Sarah was exhausted, but came through for her parents by helping them check in online for their flight home the next day. Afterwards both her and Ann retired to their rooms, while Simon and I transferred the last of my photos to a flash drive for him to take home. While I was halfway through the process Ann came back downstairs to tell me Sarah and I had to change rooms. The reason being the roof above our bed was leaking, and the bed sheets had become completely drenched. When I got upstairs all my bags were packed outside the room, then an employee came up to take us to our new home on the second floor. This move was much to Sarah’s distaste. When she’d booked the rooms online she requested they be far away from the busy street outside. Our first room on the third floor was, but the second room looked out directly on to it. Whenever a beeping car, or a whizzing scooter passed by, it made one hell of a racket. Luckily for Sarah she had some earplugs, and luckily for me I can sleep through anything. When the bags were dropped off I went back down to Simon to find there was only 5 seconds of the transfer left. When it finished I could relax, as I had officially backed up all our photos since Vietnam – I just hope I haven’t spoken too soon by writing that, maybe I should delete that last sentence just in case.

With the photos saved we returned the laptop and retired to our rooms. Our room was lovely, it was even more spacious than the last. I spent a long time going through the evening rituals, shaving my face, and taking a shower, before getting into bed around 12:30am. I then began typing the blog feeling only slightly tired. Now that I’ve finished at 2:36am, I am very very tired. It’s been a great day, but it’s sad to think this was Ann and Simon’s last, their three week holiday has flown by. It only feels like yesterday that they arrived in Singapore. Just where does the time go?

Day 224: Don’t Cry Satan

Only four days remain of the Erratic Ramblings, and I couldn’t be happier. As I lie in bed with the whole day to write about ahead of me, I feel exhausted. We didn’t do much today, but that’s usually the cause for feeling so tired. The day panned out a little like this:
• The first half of the day was spent at our resort.
• Early afternoon we went out for a walk.
• Found a resort to have dinner at.
• Spent the rest of the afternoon there.
• Saw Devil’s Tear point.
• Came back to Nanuk.
• Enjoyed an evening meal with an Australian couple.
That is precisely how we spent our last day in Lembongen, I am going to do my best to stay awake now and go over the smaller details.

The day started around 8:15am. We led in bed for around another half an hour until we joined Sarah’s parents for breakfast. After eating our all inclusive pancakes, we spent the rest of the morning, and early hours of the afternoon hanging out at our resort. Sarah read, Simon messed a out on his tablet, Ann led on the sun loungers, and I played on my Nintendo. Because the battery had died on my device, I was restricted to the downstairs area of our hut, in the shade. I led beside the socket for around 3 hours, playing games until my thumbs hurt. When it was fully charged I went over to Sarah to play some more beside the pool. It was then that Sarah’s parents suggested we went out for a walk to get dinner, as that would help build up an appetite. Little did they know I was already starving.

We walked and walked, but found nothing. We ended up walking down a side street which we thought would lead to either the beach or a decent restaurant – how wrong we were. This road contained nothing but temples, countless temples, side by side from the top of the hill to the bottom, there were so many in fact they almost resembled terraced housing. Sarah was only wearing a vest on top of her bikini and felt really bad as she walked past the local people. She feared she was being disrespectful for wearing so little. Her knees were exposed and everything, the little hussy. She felt even worse when we passed a cremation ceremony, the people were preparing the coffin for later that day. When we reached the bottom of the road it turned out to be a dead end, so we came back on ourselves, where Sarah had the pleasure of walking past everyone all over again. We were miles ahead of Simon and Ann who were still climbing the hill when we’d reached he top. When they’d caught up we retraced our steps until we reached a local corner shop. There was a man sat outside who spoke good English, and recommended a restaurant down an adjacent road. He said it was a 20 minute walk from where we currently stood. We bought some water and a chocolate bar from his shop, then headed in that direction. I was miserable this whole time for a couple reasons:
1: I didn’t want to leave the resort in the first place.
2: I was extremely hungry and agitated.
Maybe it was the hunger that was powering me through but we made it in less time than predicted. It only took 10 minutes before we stumbled upon Dream Beach Cabu.

This was the only resort that rivalled ours. They charged exactly the same amount of money per night as Nanuk bungalows. They had a pool, great food, cosy looking huts, and a fully functioning spa. After dinner Ann and Sarah made full use of that when they both enjoyed a couple pedicures, while Simon and I were left to twiddle our thumbs. It was alright for me because my thumbs were occupied with the Nintendo, until its batteries died that is. I found it very difficult to sit still, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Simon was bored either. I didn’t like sitting and waiting because there wasn’t much to do. I went in the pool for a bit and ordered a plate of chips for my second meal. Mostly out of boredom than hunger. The people at the resort were so nice to us, before we even got our food they said we were allowed to swim in their pool, and they even provided us with towels afterwards. When Sarah’s peddy was finished the pair of us went to see the nearby beach for sunset. Simon remained to wait for Ann’s treatment to be over with. The beach was so beautiful, it was a cove like area where the waves washed up gently on the shore. We took a couple pictures from afar then moved on to the next nearby sight. Devil’s Tear.

This was the corner of Lembongan where the dagger like rock faces were washed with salty sea waves. In the distance you could see the mighty wet mountains building up, and the crust of the wave riding on the top like a surfer. When they reached the rocks they caused an almighty smashing sound, and white foamy water dispersed everywhere. It was easy to see where the place got its name, if you fell in, without question, the end results would be fatal. We were there for a good 20 minutes before Sarah’s parents showed up. By the time they’d arrived it was dusk, and the Mosquitos were coming out yet again. Their presence was always accompanied by swift flying bats. It was very difficult to see on the way back because our eyes couldn’t adjust to the weird light. It wasn’t dark enough to focus on the floor, and wasn’t bright enough to see where we were going. Sarah explained to me that this was known as Mesopic vision. This was where the rods and cones in our eyes weren’t developed to cope with that level of lighting. The cones process higher light levels typical during the day. While the rods are more suited to very low light levels, corresponding to moonless nights without electric lighting. This is why dusk and dawn are considered the most dangerous times to drive. We took plenty of photos during our short visit, before returning to the resort, where the kind staff arranged a lift for us back to our resort. It was a 10 minute ride, and we’d surprised ourselves by how much walking we’d actually done earlier that day.

After popping back to the room to drop some things off, Sarah and her parents FaceTimed her sister and niece. After that we all went to the bar to grab a drink. Simon and Ann were there before us and had befriended an Australian couple. When we joined them they were deep in conversation. I was still hungry by this point, so I went ahead and ordered food for myself, which I was later shunned for when it arrived. Sarah turned around and sarcastically said “uh Ben, are you not gonna eat with us then?” I didn’t think anyone else was eating that night because they’d not long had dinner. I was the one with the fast metabolism after all, and 90% of the time it’s safe to presume I’m hungry. Eventually everyone did order food, and the staff pushed two tables together so we could eat with our new friends. Instead of having another cooked meal I chose to have a dessert. It was fried banana with chocolate and strawberry ice cream. Three hours passed by that evening as we remained at the table to converse after tea. Simon and John shared a couple bottles of beer, while the rest of us exchanged funny anecdotes. When the talk of travel was mentioned, the point was made that it’s more common to see people our age travelling nowadays compared to when the oldies were younger. And also how technology has helped to make this world that much smaller, with things like Facebook and Skype being the main culprits. Around 11pm we all went back to our rooms, but it took three attempts to say goodbye before anyone actually moved from the dinner tables. When I got into bed I was shattered, bone achingly shattered. I now have a headache from forcing myself to stay awake to write this, I am sorry if today has come across as lackadaisical at all, I am just too tired to concentrate. If I didn’t write it now, I know I’d struggle to remember everything tomorrow. I am now going to put this phone on charge and go to sleep. My eyelids weighed a ton as I wrote that last sentence…
Good night all, take care.

Day 223: No Ray, I Can’t Believe It

Where to begin today’s post? The day was comprised of a failed snorkel trip, filling out insurance forms, a spot of swimming, some Mario kart, and an evening meal. As I lie here in bed I really can’t be bothered to write anymore than that, especially seeing as my Nintendo 3ds is staring at me begging to be played. But I have a mission to complete, there are only 5 days remaining of the “Erratic Ramblings”, and I will endeavour to complete them. Without further ado, day 223 in all its glory.

The alarm rang early this morning 8:00am, although we didn’t need it. For some unknown reason we woke up naturally by ourselves. The reason for such an early start on a lazy island like Lembongan was because we had a snorkel trip planned. We all had pancakes for breakfast, packed a few items into my dry bag, then waited at the beach for Captain Jack to come prepare his boat.

Because of the early hour the tide was in, crashing violently against the brick walls and rocks. It had completely submerged the beach, making it very difficult for us to get aboard the boat. Captain Jack did his best to bring the boat in as close as possible, and one by one we climbed aboard. It was no easy task, Sarah almost slipped over on the wet rocks, fortunately for her there was a staff member from our resort nearby to catch her. We then set off for a 4 hour adventure that would see us covering the perimeter of Lembongan, hitting up all the top snorkelling hotspots along the way.

Sadly we couldn’t do the first spot because of the aggressive waves flying towards the sharp rocks. Wether or not their appearance had anything to do with the full moon the previous evening, I don’t know. Sarah and myself were really gutted by this bad news because that area was where the manta rays were situated. Neither of us had snorkelled with the majestic creatures before so this would’ve been a real treat, but ol’ Mother Nature had other plans apparently. It was really choppy the whole way, the boat had stability bars either side to prevent a side to side rocking motion. The only bumps we felt came in the form of up and down. It was enough to make us feel a little sick, all but Simon, who was well adapted to the sea after so many years of sailing. As we crashed over the top of each wave we could see lots of surfers in the distance treating each one like a playground. After a 40 minute ride we reached smoother waters, and at the same time, our first stop of the day.

Mangrove Point: This place had the best coral we’d seen in our 7 and a half months. It was the size of a football pitch, and more colourful than a parrot fish. In short it was spectacular. As far as we could see there was nothing but tropical sea life. The hardest part about the stop was the constant current which kept pulling us back, but this was something that worked to our advantage. After swimming against it for so long, Captain Jack told us to let the current take us and he’d follow behind in his boat. This made everything a lot easier, we must’ve drifted for about 100 metres at least. I don’t want to waste anyone’s time by explaining what fish we saw, as most of them were the same as every other snorkel trip we’ve done. But there were a few exceptions. We saw really big angel fish, so big that we almost mistook them for something else. Usually the ones we see are around 10 cm, but these had to have been closer to 20. I then spotted something I hadn’t seen before, a brown and yellow speckled sea snake. It was slithering its way through the coral just like its cousins on land, I barely got Sarah’s attention in time before it disappeared. We didn’t stay for long at Mangrove point, as soon as Captain Jack caught up to us we climbed back aboard the boat. It was then we spotted another first… a pod of dolphins. They briefly poked their dorsal fins above the water as they swam along, there were about 4 of them swimming side by side. Our captain drove over to see if we could get a closer look, but by the time we got there they’d already gone. The brief glimpse that we did get completely made up for the fact we couldn’t see the mantas in my opinion. It was such a rare sight, that I felt honoured to have seen it at all. After that we moved on to our second stop.

The waves were too much for me after another 10 minutes sailing. The day trip was taking a turn for the worst, so to compensate for how sick I felt I hunched up and led down on my seat. I’m not someone who has sea legs, and I’ll openly put my hands up and admit to that, the slightest bump makes me queazy. It must have been a further 20 minutes before we arrived at our second stop, immediately I jumped out, but before I did, my snorkel broke. Captain Jack gave me a replacement set, but it was no good, the waves were still coming and it was even harder to stay in one place. There was also a second problem, because of the waves it meant the seabed was churned up, making everything underwater a little hazy and unclear. While I was floating around, the others decided it was time to call it quits. All the other stops would be just as bad, and Sarah was as sick as me by this point. I had been dragged so far away that I had to swim a good 30 feet to get back. I then led down for the 30 minute boat ride back to the starting point.

The tide was still in when we got back, and the Captain wasn’t sure what to do. We drifted between the steps (where we got on) and a gap between some rocks. The Captain yelled out to a friend to help him out. His friend then waded out into the water, and with the Captain’s help, they pulled the boat in as close they could, but to no avail. In the end they pushed the boat back out and went to fetch a smaller one man row boat. This was hilarious to watch as they dragged Sarah, Ann, and Simon to the shore. Sarah’s face looked pale with sea sickness, so she was first to go. Ann’s face was full of fear, her eyes were wide open as she clambered aboard the small white boat and was towed in. I didn’t need it, when I realised the water only came up to the men’s knees I hopped out along with them. The walk in was a peace of cake. They then went back to fetch Simon, which was a sight too funny to pass up on, I had to take a picture. The four of us then went back to our resort where we attempted to pay for the day trip.

Because we hadn’t been out for the full 4 hours we were unsure what was a fair price. We spoke with Jacob who told us he’d have a word with the Captain and get back to us. He then explained it would probably be better to go out in the afternoon when the tides out. After only being at sea for a maximum of an hour and a half, we were back beside the pool. We all got in – including Simon, and discovered the temperature of the water felt closer to that of a bath, when compared to the sea at least. All of us floated about for around half an hour while the cleaners tidied our rooms. When they were done I grabbed a few things from the room, then spent some more time relaxing on a lounger. After a while we all felt peckish and moved over to the restaurant area for dinner. It was here that all the paper work came out for our travel insurance.

Because both Sarah and I had been to the hospital at one point or another this trip, we had the responsibility of informing the insurance company. It was almost as if they didn’t want to pay out, judging by all the paperwork. Names, places, dates, cost, all these questions and more had to be filled out with excruciating attention to detail. One wrong word was all it would take for them to say “forget it”. I had the most to lose out of the two of us, with that injection in my fingertip costing me over £1000 pounds. That’s a whole lot of money, even for someone who’s not backpacking on a budget. That bloody dog, he doesn’t even care, he’s probably added 20 more victims to his tally since then. By the time we’d finished dinner, we’d also completed the forms. Sarah and I then returned to the room until early evening, while Ann and Simon remained at the pool.

We watched the last hour of a film we started the other day, then hours passed as we did our own things. Sarah read her kindle, while I enjoyed my birthday present some more. It was around 7pm before we were forced to stop. Simon shouted across from their hut next door, he said the pair of them were bored and wanted to go out. We told them to give us an extra 30 minutes because Sarah wasn’t hungry, but that time was cut short after only 15. We went to the same area as the previous night for tea, except we ate at a different restaurant. I don’t recall the name, but they sold the best vanilla milkshake I’d hade in a while. I also ate something other than what I like to call “safety food”. Instead of having a westernised dish, I ordered their special from the board. It was pork with mashed potato in teriyaki sauce, I enjoyed every bite. Afterwards, we stopped in the shop next door to grab some post meal snacks, then returned to Nanuk Bungalows. Instead of going straight to bed, what Sarah and her parents did was play a few card games underneath our hut. I was the unsocial one playing on the Nintendo in the corner. They played a few games before calling it quits. Goodnights were exchanged before we returned to our huts to go through the evening rituals. Sarah and I then struggled to stay awake as kindles were read and blogs were written. But would you look at that, I’ve somehow gained a second wind. I think I’ll play some more on my Nintendo, god I need help!!!

Day 222: Nintendon’t Disturb Me

We were lazy… the end.
– Sarah Duxbury

This is what Sarah suggested I put for today’s blog, and to be honest, it wouldn’t be too far from the truth. Unlike all the other times I’ve said “today we did nothing”, this time around truer words were never said. All day we stayed at our resort, only leaving in the evening to go out for tea. That is unequivocally it! Today will be the shortest post of them all for that reason alone, but I have committed to writing about everything this far, so it would be a shame to quit now.

Sarah and I finally got the lie in we’d been craving this morning, although, the early starts up until now meant we woke up naturally at 9am. It was just a pleasant change of pace not to hear an alarm ringing beside us for once. We led in bed for a further half an hour, watching a tv show, until we joined Sarah’s parents for breakfast.

We were all tired as we sat around the table. Ann and Simon because they were up several times during the night, and Sarah and myself because we were in a deep sleep before coming too. The Bali coffee is really strong, and is the only coffee that actually perks me up. Caffeine is something that doesn’t usually effect me, but that stuff is something else. When we were done eating, Sarah and I returned to the room for a further hour to watch the end of our tv show, before putting on the beginning of a movie. While Sarah’s parents chose to sit in the shade of a parasail beside the pool.

About an hour into the movie Sarah decided she wanted to do some sunbathing. We put the tablet down, then procured a couple loungers. Somehow she was able to stick it out in the sun. I stayed in the shadows going over the previous days blog. When I was done, some two hours later, I hopped in the pool with Sarah. After I had cooled down I led in the sun to dry off, then returned to the room to grab my Nintendo 3ds. I knew there was a reason behind my trepidations about asking for the console. It wasn’t that I was afraid of what people would think of me, it wasn’t that at all, it was in fact my addictive personality. I couldn’t put the thing down. I completely ignored the “take an hourly break” rule that comes with the device. I played it so much today that I ended up having to plug it into a socket to feed my addiction some more. Bye bye social life is all I’ll say. Hours passed as I levelled up my mighty Pokemon, I moved between the sheltered downstairs area of our hut, and the sun loungers, where I simultaneously played and worked on my tan. Eventually hunger came a knocking, and the four of us had dinner at our resort. But after that it was straight back to the world of Pokemon for me. I’m 25 for god’s sake, I shouldn’t even be playing this overly addictive drivel, but I couldn’t help myself. It was 5:30pm before I tore myself away and did something more practical, I Skyped my mum.

I told her the previous evening that I’d phone her during the day so she could see our resort. That plan didn’t work out because the Internet wasn’t strong enough for a video call. Instead we talked for around 40 minutes using our devices as international telephones. As we spoke, I had the pleasure of watching Simon playing table tennis in the background. He was playing against one of the young family members who ran the resort. I don’t know who won officially, but Simon had to call it quits when he began overheating. It wasn’t long after Simon threw in the towel that I finished my Skype call with my mum. In the time I sat downstairs I became the proud owner of 4 fresh mosquito bites. I retired to the room and continued playing Pokemon some more beside my bessie on the bed.

10 minutes later there was a knock at the door from Sarah’s mother. Ann had grown restless of doing nothing all day and wanted to go out for food. It took Sarah and I a further 10 minutes to get ready, then the four of us walked to Mushroom Bay for tea. We had to walk all of 5 minutes along dark paths, using torches to guide us. When we arrived it was like a ghost town. There was nobody in sight, and all of 3 or 4 different places to eat. In the end we selected a place called Mushroom Garden Villas. It was a nice change of pace to receive our food quickly for once. All our meals were tasty and satisfying, but come the end was where it all fell apart. The bill. I handed over 100,000 to cover my 70,000 fee, after that pandemonium broke loose. Sarah always had this gift when it came to sorting out a multi person bill, but this time around she was busy playing on the phone. Ann then started throwing numbers around, followed by Simon, then I didn’t know what way was up. Eventually Sarah joined in, grabbed the tray with all the money, and took it to the waiter to explain we wanted small change. The main problem was non of us had any small notes, had we done it would’ve saved all the confusion in the first place. We got what Sarah requested, left a bill, then left ourselves. 5 minutes later we were back at Nanuk Bungalows to draw an end to our day.

We said our goodnights at the steps of our hut, and encouraged Ann to join us on the snorkelling trip the next day. She was a timid little mouse, and was mainly focused on all the things that could go wrong while we were at sea. I tried my best to encourage her to come along, as its not everyday you get to swim with manta rays. Time would tell if those words of wisdom helped. Sarah and I then got ready for bed, I wrote this post, chatted to a friend from home on Skype, and last but not least, concluded my evening with another helping of Pokemon.
WHAT A LOSER!!!

Day 221: All About The Benjamin

It was finally here, my birthday! And with it came the arrival of my Nintendo 3DS XL, although, I didn’t play on it as much as expected. Today was the first time I’d ever celebrated the feat of gaining another year older, abroad. And it was the first time alcohol wasn’t involved. The perks of getting older and more mature eh! To celebrate the wonderful life of Ben Norris, we did nothing, just the way I liked it. Instead we spent the day beside the pool, visiting our very own private beach, then going out for a lovely evening meal. It really was a great day, and now you lucky people get to read all about it.

Unfortunately, even though today was my birthday, I didn’t get the luxury of a lie in. Nor did in get the immediate attention of my girlfriend. The second she woke up she asked for my phone instead of wishing me a happy birthday. I didn’t mind, as I’d actually forgotten what day it was myself. It took her 10 seconds to realise her mistake, then I got a big cuddle and a kiss. Today saw us leaving Ubud to move on to greener pastures. We were scheduled to catch the first fast boat of the day to Lembongan, a stunning island where we’d all relax and chill out for the duration of our stay. First things first we needed breakfast, so at 6:30am we got up and went about getting ready. Sarah and I packed our final things away, then went to knock for her parents. SHOCKER, we were ready before Ann and Simon, but not by much. We all then went for breakfast. After that we moved our bags to the reception area and waited on our driver. To pass the time we made small talk with the hotel manager.

The driver was running half an hour behind schedule. It was around 8:15am before he showed up, the boat left at 9:30, and the port was a good one hour drive away. Ann, more so than the rest, was paranoid we weren’t going to make it in time. Even more so when Simon asked the driver to stop so he could make a withdraw. The driver spoke extremely good English, and he was asking about what sort of cars we drove back home, he then explained how his son is studying to become an accountant, he was a very friendly and chatty man. I enjoyed listening to him talk because of the way he rolled his R’s. Every so often he’d say the name of a place like Sempur, but when he said it, it came out as “Sempurrrrrrrr”. At 9:20am we had arrived, but narrowly missing the boat was the least of our worries when we saw what waited for us up ahead.

The fast boat we’d be taking across the sea to Lembogan, floated atop the passing waves in an uncontrollable manner. Each wave was around 5 foot high, and forced the boat all over the place. Ann was really worried by this. There were porters whose job it was to carry everyone’s large holdalls aboard the boat, but they expected a tip upon their return. The way people got aboard resembled the two pence machines at an arcade. The ones where the shelve moves back and forth casually pushing any hangers on off the edge. As the tide went out, it was do or die for everyone. I found it slightly amusing as I saw Ann run on behind Sarah, I don’t know why, maybe it was the swaying boat that made everyone look uncoordinated that did it. I climbed aboard after them, but because the wave was going out as I climbed on, there was no issue. The hardest part was walking down the aisle to my seat. When Simon sat down beside me I looked out the window, that’s when I saw it. There was an upturned boat, which had clearly been there a while. Not the best sight to see given the circumstances. Just when we thought we were safe, it got worse. I didn’t learn of this until later on when Sarah told me, as the last few passengers climbed aboard, the anchor rope snapped. The anchor at the back of the boat, which was holding it to the beach, now served no purpose. The only one keeping us from washing up on the shore was the front anchor. As I looked around the boat I could see these worries and scared expressions on the passenger’s faces. At first I wondered what the big deal was, until I noticed the back end of the boat tipping over on itself. Fortunately the wave passed, and the boat levelled, but there was one particular passenger who feared for her child’s safety. She asked a man if he’d mind swapping with her, but you could tell he was also scared. He shouted back at her saying “yes, just give me a minute”. Wimps, the lot of them. There was nothing to worry about, even if the Lonely Planet had printed horror stories of the crossing on its pages. After a nauseous half an hour voyage, the boat parked safely alongside the shore of Lembongan.

When all the bags had been offloaded by the friendly Balinesian staff, we were escorted to a small truck for a free lift to our accommodation. We shared the truck with a cool looking surfer dude, who had with him a really lightweight board. For all I knew he was a world famous surfer, he certainly had the build for it. God I wish I could surf… Sorry, I went a little off track there. Our new resort was just as pretty as the last (which you’ll see in the pics) but for different reasons. Inata had more of a modern meets traditional vibe, whereas Nanuk was comprised of wooden huts, giving off the more authentic island experience. Surprisingly each hut had a/c inside. Up until now, all the huts we’d stayed in were fan only. There was a small pool to cool down in, a restaurant which sold food throughout the day, and lovely grounds to explore. It was definitely worth the price we were paying. We were given a welcome drink each by the staff, and when Sarah told them it was my birthday, they said “we’ll party later” – we never did 😦

After our drinks, the guys told us our rooms were ready and walked us to them. It took a while for everyone to get sorted, but around midday I was finally given my presents. I was like a kid at Christmas. All those items I’d ordered on eBay had gone from digital images to real life tangible objects. For my birthday I received the Nintendo system from Sarah (much to her concern, she feared I’d give it more attention than her… she thought right). I got a few cards from my mum, nan, and Sarah’s parents. My mum also got me a new Starbucks card to replace the one Sarah and I had rinsed. After I’d unwrapped everything and read all my cards, I spent a while playing on my new toy as the others sat by the pool. Eventually I left the Nintendo to charge in the room, then joined Sarah and her parents. After a short time swimming around, we moved over to the restaurant for some dinner.

Before we ordered we spoke with Jacob, he was one of the staff members who spoke excellent English. Jacob told us of the many day trips to do on Lembogan, and reinforced my decision to snorkel with the others rather than do a dive. He told me it worked out cheaper to do it as a group, and because I was the only one with a diving license it meant I’d have to pay double the price for the privilege of going under. When we learned all there was to do we had dinner, followed by a walk. It was a hot day, but a nice kind of hot, either that or Sarah and I had well and truly acclimatised. Poor Ann and Simon hated it, the pair of them nearly melted into blobs on the floor every few feet. The first beach we located at the end of our resort was kind of dirty. This was because all the boats were docked there, the fuel and oils stained the water. Instead of going there, we located a hidden gem off the beaten track. It was stunning. The beach was guarded by two colossal mountains at either end, the sand was white, and the sea was crystal. The best thing was, because it was hidden, we had the whole thing to ourselves for the length of time we were there. After a while Ann found the heat too much, and had to sit it out in the shade. Sarah and I took a final stroll up and down the shore, then we all left together. On the way back I spotted the most adorable calf I’d ever seen, its eyes were so big and shiny that I just wanted to give it a cuddle, but I didn’t think mummy cow would have been too pleased with that, so I settled for a picture instead. Back at the resort, Sarah and I got back in the pool to spend some time floating about, before getting out to dry off in the sun. Every year on the 24th of May it’s always sunny, and today was no exception. Until around 4pm that was. Out of nowhere the skies filled with grey clouds, making Sarah and I come to the conclusion that staying on the sun loungers was probably a redundant idea. That’s when Sarah came up with a brilliant idea, to get some beers and return to the room.

Just as we were about to climb the steps of our hut, we saw Sarah’s parents in the chill out area below, so we did the same. The huts were divided between an upstairs and a downstairs. Upstairs housed the bedrooms, downstairs had two chill out beds to relax on during the day. This is when I began playing on my new toy. The 3d effects were great, if not a little disorientating. It came with warnings to take breaks every 15 minutes when using the 3d, but what do they know… Just kidding, eye care is a very serious matter. After an hour or so, Sarah and I returned to our outdoor bathroom, tucked away behind our hut, to shower. We had plans that evening, which had been arranged in advance during dinner. Sarah really wanted it to be perfect for me, so she went online to reserve us a table at a fancy restaurant which had 5 star reviews. When I was dried and dressed, I told sarah she’d have to hurry up if she wanted to see the sunset. In the end she told me to go on ahead and she’d catch up – she didn’t. Instead I went with Ann and Simon. There was nothing to see though, the sun was now masked behind the large dark clouds, and one ginormous thunderhead. That made for spectacular photos whenever I caught a lightning bolt tearing through its dark colour. After that we returned to the resort, where only 15 minutes later our reserved restaurant’s shuttle had arrived to pick us up.

The restaurant was amazing, everything was top notch, from the look of the place to the quality of the food. The only downside was the time we had to wait for it to arrive. Although there were storm clouds overhead, it still wasn’t raining, instead there was a nice cool breeze. Our drinks arrived in reasonably good time, but when you get through a milkshake and a jug of water before your food arrives, you get a little irritated. After a while the rain just couldn’t hold off any longer and began falling all around us. It wasn’t fast, or heavy enough to warrant moving tables like we did, but after seeing others beginning to evacuate the outdoor area, we did the same. It took over an hour for our meals to arrive, and all I ordered were the ribs. It was a good job the salad was an all you can eat sort of deal, otherwise we’d have started eating the decorative table arrangements. The food was lovely when it finally arrived, but because of how long it took, it made Sarah feel bad. She kept apologising on the restaurants behalf, but there was no need, I wasn’t bothered at all. I was just frustrated by how long they took to serve us. At just gone 9pm we were able to get the free shuttle back to our resort, where I then spent the next hour and a half skyping my mum and nan. Because it was so dark out, it was difficult for them to see me. Disturbingly, the only place they got a good view of the birthday boy was in our bathroom. The lighting was slightly better beside the toilet, so at least I got to sit while we spoke. Whilst I was there, I figured I’d introduce them to the greatest bathroom gadget of all time.. the bum hose. This device cracked them up to no end, mostly because of how powerful it was. If you weren’t careful you could do yourself some real damage, I’m pretty sure it was capable of cracking the porcelain, it was that powerful. I thanked my mum and nan for my birthday gifts, then said my goodbyes. I was so tired by the end, yet I still managed to write the days blog. Even on my birthday I didn’t give myself a day off. To conclude my evening, I went on Facebook to see if anyone had wished me a happy birthday – they had. Even as I checked it, the wishes kept coming. At last count I had over 35. I truly am loved, for all those who sent your kind words, I love and miss you all.
Happy Birthday to me.

Day 220: The Confessions of a Shopaholic

It still baffles me to this day, how are women so easily able to be interested in shopping. Here in Bali, every third stall is the same. I have stressed this point countless times, yet both Ann and Sarah are always able to find something to buy. Given the chance I’m sure they’d be capable of finding mud in a snowstorm. The reason I have opened today’s post like this is because for a part of the day both Simon and I were dragged around the shops. The rest of the day was spent at the resort. That’s right folks, today we took a day off the tourist thing and just relaxed.

• To say it was our day off Sarah still insisted we set an alarm. This meant after breakfast she’d be up early enough to capitalise on the sunbathing all day. At 8am we all met at the restaurant and conversed around the table about the newest headline in England. Two Muslim extremist had chopped off the head of an innocent British soldier. This was horrendous news, and what’s worse was the attacker’s rationalisation to the cameraman of what he’d done. Throughout the day Facebook was plagued with the opinions of armchair philosophers, each throwing in their two pence worths on the subject. The most common being “kill them all!!!”, or “get them out of our country!!!!” Both opinions are fine, as they are after all only opinions, but what’s not acceptable is the fact they are uneducated opinions. Instead of these people directing their hatred towards the Jihad extremists, these people posting nonsense on Facebook, believe all Muslims think like these men, and therefor should be punished. It’s sad that the press in our country push these ideas upon people, leaving everyone scared and angry for all the wrong reasons. I hope one day, as human beings, we will evolve to something greater than we currently are. All this violence will only evoke more violence, and on some level I guess that fuels wars, all the while the cowards in the governments continue to get rich from it all. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying these two psychopaths shouldn’t be punished in some way or another, I just feel that if we were to live in a society that kills out of revenge, what would that say about society itself. It’s a very delicate subject indeed, I’ve been walking on eggshells just by mentioning it in this post, and I chose not to have an opinion on the subject because, ultimately, I can’t do anything about it. All I will say is I don’t think violence is the answer. By killing these men more extremists will act out. Then again, the popular reaction to that would be, by killing them it would set an example for others who’d attempt the same mindless attack. Over the period of the day this topic was discussed, but in the end, everyone had to agree to disagree. At the end of the day the human race is going to be its own demise anyway, in the mean time read my blog and be happy for what you’ve got.

With the world set to rights for the second day running, we chilled by the pool. I began by reading through previous blogs to get up to date. I quit after half an hour or so to return to the room where it was cool. It was too hot to concentrate, and there were no shady spots. In the comfort of the a/c I spent the next 3 hours finalising everything. Just before I’d finished, Sarah came back to take a break from the heat as well. Within 10 minutes of her arrival, the weather outside changed. Down came the rain, soaking everything in a matter of seconds. We were then trapped for the next hour or so as we waited for it to pass. Eventually it subsided and Ann came knocking on our door with some bags in her hands. Inside each one was additional clothing they’d been holding onto for us. I tried on one of my shirts, but was saddened when I looked like a young boy in his dad’s clothing. There used to be no room to breath when I wore it, nowadays it looked more like a pyjama top. If I were to wear it again in Australia, one thing’s for sure, I’d need to hit the gym hard to get back what I’d lost. Sarah and I strategically packed everything into our bags, leaving little room for anything else, then the four of us walked into town now that the rain had stopped.

The first thing we did was order food at a restaurant we’d eaten at the other day. I had two dinners on accounts of being so hungry. After that we spent the next 2 or 3 hours looking around the many shops. I absolutely hated this by now. Sarah and I were still looking for acceptable gifts to buy our friends, but there was literally nothing, unless of course they’d like a mini statue of Buddha or a frog. As we walked down the street we crossed over back and forth many times, stopping in every shop which sold trinkets, sarongs, and other junk. At first I thought I was going mad, how was it possible for these two women to keep finding something new to look at!? My mind was put to rest when I discovered Simon shared the exact same thought, for the most part he’d wait outside while the others went in. It always seemed I’d follow them in each place like a lost puppy. One particular shop we stopped in saw me being the main attraction. I was the eye candy for once! There were three women (short women) working inside, when I stepped through the door they made a point of telling Sarah I was tall – you know, in case she hadn’t already noticed. One of the ladies then stood next to me and took off her high heeled shoes. She was now shorter than ever, and just about came above my belly button. “While you’re down there love!” Would be the popular sexist phrase wouldn’t it?

After a while of walking around aimlessly, we reached the indoor market area. This was a ridiculous place that frustrated me to no end. If every shop up until now looked the same, these small stalls were practically mirror images of each other. The first section seemed to sell nothing but sarongs, yet Ann and Sarah spent a good 15 minutes looking at everything. We then moved on to the next area which sold slightly different merchandise, but for the most part it was pretty much the same. Masks, penis bottle openers, children’s clothing, plates, sarongs… I can’t emphasise enough just how many sarongs there were. I’d had enough when we were nearing the half an hour mark. Upstairs I managed to buy a couple more pairs of shorts, but this didn’t make me any happier to be there. The lady initially started off the bidding at 250,000 (£17) for both pairs. Seeing as I’d only ever paid 40,000 (£2.71) each, that’s all I was willing to pay. She put up a good fight, coming down to 200,000, then 150,000, followed by 100,000, before finally matching the price I was used to. Shortly after that purchase we called it a day. We made a quick cash withdraw ready for Lembongan tomorrow, then made our way back towards Inata.

At first we feared we’d have to walk the whole way because we hadn’t rang the resort for a shuttle. By a stroke of luck, when we reached Cafe Des Artistes, the shuttle happened to appear behind us. It was a new driver behind the wheel, so he didn’t recognise us, and nearly didn’t stop. After much hand waving and frantic jumping, he hit the brakes. He was then kind enough to take us the rest of the way, saving our tired legs the additional 15 minute walk. Back in our room Ann helped me with my online banking again. It took a while, but eventually we sorted everything out. After that, Ann returned to her room, then I Skyped my mum. Over the period of our conversations she told me about a film she’d recently watched, and in return I told her about “The Mentalist”. Together we would solve the mystery of Red John. Around 7:45pm we caught the shuttle to the Cafe Des Artistes area. There was a nearby restaurant we hadn’t tried yet, and seeing as it was our last night in Ubud, we gave it a go.

Their food was nice, if not slow to arrive. I wasn’t feeling all that hungry so I only ordered a chicken sandwich. We had the pleasure of sitting around a paraffin powered candle, which Simon toyed with throughout, making the flame roar and simmer. To both Sarah and I the smell reminded us of the flame dancers from Phi Phi. When it came time to get the bill, because of how long it took to arrive, we were against the clock. We told the driver we’d be ready by 10pm, and it was already getting on for five to. Sarah and I popped to a nearby convenient store, while Ann and Simon settled what we owed. We grabbed a few items, and made yet another withdraw ready for Lembongan – there are no cash machines there, so it was better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it. When we got back, Sarah’s parents were waiting on their change. With everything sorted we walked up the road to find our driver. Back at Inata we said goodnight to Ann and Simon at our door, then went about packing our final items. I took a quick shower, then concluded the evening by writing the blog. I even checked it over ahead of time, as I wanted to be completely free tomorrow for one reason, and one reason only, it was my birthday. Like the famous song goes… “It’s my birthday and I’ll not check over blogs if I don’t want to!”

Day 219: What a Liberty

So today involved a lot of time in the car. Our private taxi driver showed up first thing this morning ahead of time, and stayed with us right through until 5:30pm. We decided that today we wanted to visit Tulamben so we could do done snorkelling. Because we were staying in Ubud it meant a 3 hour drive to reach our destination. Seeing as I’ve already explained countless times how green and pretty Bali is, I will save time by not repeating myself over and over again. Everywhere is green, and rich with rice, and water, and wildlife. There are only so many ways I can say that without coming across like someone with Alzheimer’s. it truly is a stunning place that needs to be seen to be believed. It’s almost as if you enter a world in HD. Now, enough about that, lets get started with the day.

It was the earliest start yet, the alarm rang at 7:15am. I had accidentally set it for the wrong time, as that was when we’d scheduled breakfast to be served. This meant we had little time to get ready and meet Sarah’s parents at the restaurant. I quickly packed a day bag, then we headed over for food.

Sarah didn’t like hers and ended up leaving the majority of it. I wasn’t all that hungry either, but shoved it all down to clear the plate. At just gone 8am, while I was returning to our room, I saw the driver pulling up. Quickly we darted around the room and grabbed the last of our things, before climbing into our taxi for the day ahead.

Our plan was to visit Tulamben, where we could snorkel the shipwreck Liberty. The ship once belonged to the US Navy, and was used to carry cargo. It was torpedoed in January 1942 by a Japanese submarine near Lombok. It was then towed and beached at Tulamben, where its cargo of rubber and railway parts were saved. This was prevented by an invasion by the Japanese, and the ship sat on the beach until the 1963 eruption of Mount Agung broke it in two, leaving it just off the shoreline. Nowadays it’s home to many sea creatures and encrusted in coral, much to many divers and snorkelers delights. The journey to reach Tulamben was very peaceful. There were hardly any tight windy roads like the day before, and instead we had long smooth straight roads for the 2 and a half hour journey. During which time the three of us put the world to rights by covering the various topics of religion, politics, supernatural phenomenon, and many others that nobody really knows the answers to. The reason it takes so long to get anywhere in Bali is because there are no motorways or other forms of fast road. Not that this matters, as you’re never really in a rush to get anywhere, and the views outside the windows are forever captivating. Around 11am, to midday, we had arrived.

We initially stopped outside a dive centre hoping to hire some snorkel gear, only to be directed down the street to a more popular area. One of the guys showed us the way on his scooter, shortly followed by another man when they switched out. The end result saw us parking up in a car park just beside a pebbled beach. Here we could hire the gear from a nearby shop, as well as buy food and drinks from the neighbouring shops. At first we wondered if our driver had brought us to the correct place, because there weren’t that many tourists around. After asking a couple people we found out it was, it just happened to be a quiet day. Immediately we walked over to the shop to get our gear, but were staggered at how much they were asking for. 100,000 rupiah each. Like usual Sarah bartered them down, saying it suggested a price more along the lines of 30,000 in the Lonely Planet. The guy came down to 60,000 after that, and although we weren’t happy about it, we paid. Ann then paid an additional 20,000 when she requested a life jacket. The price for that was also negotiated, as to begin with he wanted another 30,000.

We left a few things with our driver in the car, then Ann began trying to put in her contact lenses. This was something she’d not had much practise in, and it took a good 10 minutes before the first one was in properly. It involved a lot of blinking, eye watering, and frustrated attempts before it stuck to Ann’s eyeball, but we all cheered her when she accomplished the task. It’s not an eat feat, but like anything, it gets easier with practise. The hardest part is always remembering to remove them after a night out. With Ann’s contacts in, and our gear in tow, we went to the beach. It was here that I wished I hadn’t left my flip flops behind. The pebbles were all different sizes, and this made for an extremely painful experience as I walked across them. Sarah and I were the first to get our fins and snorkels on, and went on ahead. By the time we were 20 metres out, Ann and Simon were still figuring it out on the shore. Instantly we saw all the usual fish we were familiar with, angel, parrot, clown, trumpet, as well as many others. All of which were minding their business sucking on rocks, a sound that could be heard anytime you put your head under. As we swam out a little farther, that’s when we saw it, the two pieces of the shipwreck Liberty. Surprisingly the individual rivets on each panel of metal were still visible. Just as promised, all around it were different types of fish swimming in and out of the many clusters of coral. Deep down, near the bottom, were divers. As we snorkelled about on the surface, every once in a while their oxygen bubbles would float to the surface and tickle our stomachs. It was amazing to see a ship wreck up close, and have it be so near to the surface. Usually people would have to be advanced divers to get this experience, I was happy because it meant I now wouldn’t have to pay an additional £200 to upgrade my divers license. I could tick “explore a shipwreck” off my bucket list and be happy about it. Sarah and I couldn’t have been at the wreck for any more than 5 minutes before I told her to stop looking, and instead pay full attention to a far greater sight. Ann was now making her way into the water. In an uncoordinated manor she began walking backwards whilst wearing her fins, all the while Simon was walking forward holding her hand and guiding her. It was like watching someone who’d had one too many drinks. You knew she was going to fall, you just didn’t know when. Every few steps Ann had to regain her composure before advancing a couple more steps. Eventually Simon left her to it, and she stumbled down in. Sarah and I then made our way back towards her, where she became an even more uncoordinated mess.

Because of Ann’s life jacket, it made turning from her back to her belly damn near impossible. She then said the other reason she didn’t want to turn over was because she didn’t want to get her face wet. Like the timid little mouse Ann is, she feared the water would get under her mask and she wouldn’t be able to see. Sarah helped roll her over, and held her hand as they began swimming out. At first she kept her mum in the shallows to build up her confidence, then when she was ready, Sarah guided her over to the wreck. There was a constant current throughout our visit which made staying in one place very tricky. When I saw a group of divers at the bottom of the ship I swam down to say hello. It was so deep that I almost feared I wouldn’t make it back, I had to clear my air spaces 3 whole times before I reached the bottom. I grabbed a handful of sand while I was down there, then when I looked up, I had to have been a good 20 foot down at least. Quickly I began swimming back towards the surface, and I gave Sarah the ash like sand as a gift. She was also scared I wouldn’t make it back to the top. Sarah and I were the only ones to be constantly stung by the sea lice, every so often we kept feeling quick sharp stabbing pains whenever they touched our skin. After a while we’d had enough, and decided to go for dinner.

It was a trickier process to get out of the water than it was getting in. Eventually we all managed it, but because of the current, we ended up farther away than planned. I was the first one back, so I threw Sarah her flip flops, followed by Simon’s and Ann’s, then we returned to the car park to shower off. We would’ve liked to have visited Ahmad after lunch to snorkel some of the coral there, but our driver told us it was too far away to go both there and back to hand in our gear later on. Instead we told him not to worry about it, then found a restaurant on the main road. The food was great and hit the spot, the only qualm was the amount of flies around us. Every two seconds they were pitching on our skin. When everyone had eaten we returned to the waters.

This time however, we weren’t there for long. Probably around 40 minutes. Simon sat on the beach the whole time, while the rest of us went to see what we could see. By now the current was moving in a different direction, and we allowed it to take us on its current, observing the coral reefs as we went. Ann was fortunate enough to see both Nemo and Dori during our time there, and there were also giant starfish of various bright colours. I grew tired and bored after a while, because for me, nothing’s been the same since the Perhentian islands. We saw so much there that I’ve spoiled it for myself anywhere else. I left Sarah and Ann to swim around and returned to Simon, but ten minutes later they’d also had enough. I found it quite difficult to get out, but nowhere near as difficult as the others. Sarah had her toe pinched by a crab. She screamed so loud that it set of some nearby dogs. Whereas Ann could barely move two centimetres before she looked as though she was going to fall over. It took them about 5 minutes, but eventually they reached us. We then returned the gear, and showered and dried off, before getting in our drivers car. I think he was happy because we decried to leave earlier than planned, this meant he would get back in good time to do his chanting at the dance show later on that night.

It took longer to get back than it did to arrive because of the weather. An hour in, the skies turned black and the rain began to fall. It took about 3 hours, most of us were tired on the way, so conversation was scarce. Our driver asked us at one point if we wanted to stop at a silk factory to see how the locals made it. Inside, the factory looked how I’d imagine a sweat shop to look. It wasn’t, it was all above board and belonged to a local family who all worked there together. The silk products were created using wooden machines which weaved tiny strands of thread into beautiful one off items. These varied from cloths to scarves, which we got to see in the shop upstairs. After a 15 minute stop we got back in the car and returned to Inata resort.

When we pulled up at the entrance the staff ran to our aid with umbrellas in tow. Simon made the joke that they didn’t need to worry because we were from England, and such weather was a normality. We each selected what we wanted for breakfast the next day, then returned to our rooms. We needed a shower to help warm ourselves up, as the rain had left us feeling somewhat chilly. There was so much rain in fact, that it caused the road outside our resort to flood. The showers were cut short when Ann showed up at our door requesting help with the removal of her lenses. I tried my best to pinch them from her eyeball, but she squirmed to much for me to get a grip. I gave her instructions, then she returned to her room to try again. I spent the rest of my time watching films, while Sarah took the phone to her parents room to FaceTime her sister and niece. After an hour or so, everyone was ready to go out for the evening.

We caught the shuttle into town and got dropped off in a different area of Monkey Forest Road. Sadly, in the area we were dropped off, most of the shops were closed. I say sadly, what I actually mean is thankfully. Because of this, we spent what time we would have used visiting those shops in a supermarket instead. It was worse than I’d thought, after collecting the usual toiletries and snacks, Sarah and Ann spotted an upstairs section, and like moths to a flame they went towards it. The upstairs section sold such items as clothes, shoes, sunglasses, and my personal favourite… knock off toys. They looked identical to their authentic counterparts, but had much more exciting names like “super warrior”, and “robot terminator”. After finding nothing to spend our money on, we headed back downstairs to pay for our goods, followed by finding somewhere to eat. I don’t recall the name of the restaurant, but the food was served twice as fast as the previous evening. Although the food wasn’t the best, at least we got to listen to the truly unique sounds coming from a woman in a nearby temple. No, I’m not talking about hymns, chanting, or prayer, instead this woman was hocking up something from 5 years ago. At least that’s what it sounded like. Every 5 minutes, just as we were about to place a forkful of food in our mouths, we heard the attractive sound of “harrwwwkkkkkkkk”, followed by the even more attractive sound of it leaving her mouth. It was the perfect soundtrack to our meals. After we settled the bill, we got the staff to phone our resort requesting them to send the shuttle to pick us up. I barely had enough time to grab a bottle of water before it arrived.

The driver and Simon spent the whole journey back talking about football, and as we neared the resort the roads had worsened. The mud and water together had created a murky river floating across the surface. Fortunately for us we were in a 4X4 and it didn’t slow us down at all. When we got back I just managed to catch my mum on Skype before she headed out to work, then I got to work on solving one of life’s biggest mysteries… “Who is Red John?” For those of you not in the know, Red John is the name of a serial killer on one of mine and Sarah’s favourite American tv shows. For 5 series now the viewers have been kept in the dark, as the stories protagonist “Patrick Jane” tries to figure out who the murderer of his wife and child is. It’s a brilliantly made tv show, and does a great job of keeping you guessing. After an hours research I am still led to believe my first hunch, that Patrick Jane himself will turn out to be Red John. It’s just an idea, but there is evidence to support it. Obviously this means nothing to those of you who don’t watch the show, but to those of you who do I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on the subject. Drop me a message on WordPress if you like, or add me on Facebook (Ben Norris) and together we’ll solve this mystery. After my detective skills led me back to what I already believed in, I got to work on the blog. It took forever and a day to complete, and my eyes are on fire from the constant battle between concentration and fending off sleep. It’s been a long time coming, but now I’m truly ready to catch some Z’s. Maybe in my sleep I’ll solve the Red John case once and for all.