Our days in Pai were now officially numbered. After booking a bus ticket in the evening to Bangkok we only had two days left in the lazy town. Of course, Sarah and I did nothing different. We still spent the day beside the pool and went out twice for food. Over and above all it was a good day, I managed to finish my book, and Sarah managed to top up her tan. Now read on as I attempt to write a lot about very little once again.
• All night Sarah kept waking up, much to my annoyance. She suffers from extreme arachnophobia, so much so that it causes her to have night terrors. And what with the looming presence of Australia coming up, it’s been triggering them more than usual. Every time she woke up she’d use the flashlight app on my phone to scout the area for spiders. Obviously there were none in our bed, so nervously she’d go back to sleep. It was still infuriating for me, as every time Sarah woke up, it meant I woke up. After three night terrors, Sarah managed to stay asleep until 10am. I woke up slightly earlier and watched an episode of White Collar.
• When my show had finished the pair of us got ready for the day ahead, then went out for breakfast. Much like the stereotype that gets thrown about during most people’s holidays, we reserved a couple sun loungers beside the pool like the Germans by putting our towels on them. We then rode the bikes down the road to Fat Cats for our first meal of the day.
• I ordered a large tuna melt sandwich, and Sarah had the vegetable salad. We were joined once again by the friendly mother cat, and the turtle was busy doing yoga on the rock. The only thing worth writing about is the fact I was bitten three times by one mosquito. In the space of time we were sat at the table, the insect had taken blood from my back, my elbow and my wrist. I was aware of its presence when I heard it fly past my ear. It’s high pitched scream gave it away. All of a sudden I saw it come back for more when it pitched on my chest. SPLAT!!!!! I crushed it instantly, which left a spatter of my blood all across me. All I can say is I must have tasted nice that morning, as I never usually get bitten by the miniature vampires.
• After paying for our meals we returned to the pool, where we discovered we’d needn’t have put the towels down. For as long as we stayed at the pool nobody else showed up. All day we had it to ourselves. Besides updating blogs, I was thoroughly engrossed in my book. I switched between the sun lounger and the pool, but found myself staying in the pool when Sarah pointed out my chest was beginning to burn – something she’d regret mocking me for later. After a while the staff at the resort began blaring out Thai music. I don’t quite know how to describe the sound, but it’s somewhere between a dying cat and a bad X Factor audition. I’d like to say “or Cheryl Cole”, but fear that might be too mean. Honestly, it grates on me, and its often played in places you can’t get away from, for example, the long haul bus journeys. It’s definitely up there in my top ten pet hates. Unlike the long haul bus journeys, this time I had the option to leave, so I returned to the peace and quiet of our room to finish my book, leaving Sarah to soak up the sun.
• I only had ten pages remaining by the time Sarah came back. When she got in she told me the staff had increased the volume of the music, and they were also singing along to it. I was glad I left when I did. When I looked up to see Sarah I couldn’t believe my eyes. Neither of us had put any suntan lotion on before we went to the pool, I had my reasons for this.
1. I wasn’t planning on spending too much time in the sun.
2. The factor 30 we had brought my back out in spots.
Sarah also had a reason, she claimed her skin was used to the sun these days, and she didn’t need it. How wrong she was, her chest and arms were scarlet. I then pointed out to her how sore it looked, and did my best to make a fuss of it like she does when I burn, but can you believe it, she didn’t appreciate it. She can give it but she can’t take it ladies and gents. We took it in turns to take a shower, and when I got back to the room I completed my book. It was amazing to read the life story of Pablo Escobar, but it’s difficult to tell just how good or bad a man he was. The world says one story, and the book by his brother tells another. Either way, there’s no denying that he was a very rich and powerful man, and it had entertained me during my stay at the resort. When I’d finished the book the pair of us went out for fruit shakes.
• We picked the same place we ate shiitake mushrooms at the other day. Unfortunately the shakes weren’t the best. Somehow the combinations of pineapple and coconut, and mango and coconut didn’t work. We still drank them all the same, then Sarah used my phone to Skype one of her friends from home. While they spoke I used that time to take a nap on the comfy roll out bed I was lying on. There’s something about the warm breeze in the late afternoon that sends me right off. After Sarah finished her call we decided to ride into town for an early tea.
• We parked the bikes outside the Witching Well and went around town by foot. I stopped at the Gepeto stand and ordered a cone of cookies and cream. Like usual it was rich and creamy. A little farther up Sarah ordered another fruit shake to make up for the bad ones we’d just had. I say fruit shake but it was more a sweet, sickening concoction of banana, chocolate and peanut butter. I took one sip, but chose to stick to my more tasty ice cream. We knew we had to leave Pai soon in order to meet with Sarah’s parents, so we stopped in the AYA service to enquire about their buses. We ended up booking a minibus two days time. It would take us to Chiang Mai, from there we’d switch buses to a large coach for a 12 hour journey to Bangkok. With that sorted we went to the burger joint for tea. Sarah isn’t that big on meat, and felt guilty about her decision. She ordered an ostrich burger, while I chose venison. Both were equally delicious, although there was very little difference in taste between the two. For all we knew they may have sold us the same meat, even then it could have been just beef. Afterwards we stopped in the 7Eleven (something that had become routine for us), grabbed some water and rode back to our resort.
• There was still no Internet in our room. The resort was separated by three routers. Aqua 1,2,3. Each one covered a certain area, allowing each guest to have Internet in their rooms, but wouldn’t you know it, our router was down. Aqua 1 and 2 worked fine, yet ours was having technical difficulties. I mentioned this to the man before we left for our fruit shakes earlier that afternoon, to which he said “I’ll look at it later tonight”. At that time he was comfortable swinging in a hammock and looked to be in no mad rush to do anything. When we got back to the resort I asked him if he’d fixed it, to which he said “I think so yeah”. Clearly by the simple fact we still had no Internet he hadn’t, so wether or not he actually did anything in the first place was questionable. I waited with Sarah outside, where she used the signal from Aqua 2 to speak with her parents. The whole time we were exposed to all the insects. Of which there were many, including large brown flying beetles. They looked so heavy and clumsy as they flew, and they constantly fell off the leaves they tried to pitch on because of their weight. Sarah gave more clothing demands to her poor mother, and afterwards we returned to our room. For the rest of the evening we led in bed watching tv shows, eating snacks, and drinking water. I don’t know why I bother telling you this, by now you guys already know how it goes.