Day 190: Welcome To The Good Life

Ok then, there’s not really any introduction needed for today’s post. It was another lazy day for the pair of us. We didn’t visit anywhere exciting, and we didn’t do anything of worth. But more so I can look back and remember what we did, here’s what happened.

• Seeing as I didn’t get to bed until around 3:30am that morning, it was no surprise that I’d didn’t wake up until 10:30am. Because it was sunny out Sarah didn’t want to hang around and watch any tv, she was adamant she was going to the pool straightaway.

• As I’ve said before, I’m not really a fan of lying in the sun, so I dragged out the process of joining her. I faffed around in the room for a while, and by the time I got there, Sarah suggested going for breakfast. We returned to the room to grab our wallets and put on appropriate clothes for town. We then asked the guys at the resort if we could get a free lift there. It was far too hot to walk, although, the temperature in the back of the large black 4X4 wasn’t much better.

• We chose the restaurant “Good Life”. These guys were all about healthy living, and if you so wanted, you could buy wheatgrass shots. Although I’ve been told they make you run to the toilet as they act like a scrubbing brush for your insides. Their food wasn’t as good as I remembered, last time we were in Pai, the food was so good it cured my hangover. However, today was a different story. The baguette was really hard to eat, the bacon was overcooked, and instead of giving us the hash browns we ordered, we had strange potato cubes in their place. I found myself agreeing with Sarah’s point even more, perhaps we only found it good last time because we visited Pai so early into the trip. There were no seats inside, so we sat on the one free table outdoors. Beside us was another table with four people sat around it.

• Guess who was back with a brand new rap, the mental meditation man. I don’t know if anyone can remember this, but this was the guy we wasted an hour of our lives listening to when we took part in one of his meditation classes. He was still at it. There was a woman sat with him, and I found it increasingly hard to keep my mouth shut. Somehow I did, but with all the garbage that was coming from their mouths, I really wanted to correct them. He was still going on about awareness, telling the lady how to heal her shoulder whenever she felt pain. He’d say to her “focus all the awareness into your shoulder”.
“WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!?!?”
Their ridiculous notions didn’t stop there. The lady then said,
“I was planting my flowers the other day, but I was so angry that I worried I was putting angry energy into them and they wouldn’t grow promptly, so in its place I tried to shift the anger into love”.
“LIKE WHAT SORT OF MOOD YOU’RE IN REALLY MAKES A DIFFERENCE TO THEIR GROWTH!! THEY NEED SUNLIGHT AND WATER, AND THE OCCASIONAL BEE TO POLLINATE THEM!!!!”
The one thing that made me really want to shout out was when the lady said,
“people make fun of me when I say this, but I know a guy who can heal any ailment you might have”.
“I KNOW PEOPLE LIKE THAT TOO YOU FRIGGIN FRUIT LOOP, THEY’RE CALLED DOCTORS!!!!!!”
Oh, and the amount of times I heard the word “chakra” mentioned was unbelievable. For all I knew they could’ve been talking in code about a drug deal.

• Now I’m not saying people shouldn’t believe in things like this, it’s a free world after all, and if we were all the same it would be a boring place. But I think it’s funny how people can make correlations between visiting a “healer”, and actually getting better. For example, someone suffers from a cold all week, so on the 7th day they make the decision to visit a “healer” to get rid of it. On the 8th day they wake up in the morning, and voila, they feel better again, chances are that was just a coincidence. When in actuality their own body had finally built up the antibodies to fight off the illness. It’s just a little absurd to think that a man or woman waving an incense stick around with whale music in the background can heal you quicker than prescription drugs. If you’re sick visit a doctor for heavens sake, no amount of crystals and meditation will cure cancer, that’s all I’m saying. But like I said, we’re all free to believe what we like. I mean I like Batman and comic books for goodness sakes, and I’m almost 25 years old. Not to mention I’ve ordered a Pokemon game for my birthday. Perhaps I should see someone about me being a man child, maybe a witch doctor, they’re not crazy right?

• Shortly after listening to the couple from “one flew over the cuckoos nest” we were joined by a very cute puppy. It looked to be a young Doberman Pinscher, but given the various breeds around town it was very unlikely. It was a very playful pup and chewed anything insight, from bottle lids to cigarette butts. In the end Sarah threw down some bread to distract it. It was more interested in the puppy sat on the chakra ladies lap though. She claimed her dog had a very similar energy to her, whatever that means. Although, looking at her little fluff ball (the dog I’m talking about) it looked like it thought she was crazy too. She then put the puppy in the front basket of her push bike and rode off. After paying for our breakfast we went to the 7Eleven where Sarah grabbed a Big Gulp of coke. We then walked back in the blistering midday sun.

• By the time we got back we were very sweaty, so the pool was a god send. Sarah went on ahead while I returned to the room to grab our things. I returned, some 10 minutes later, to find she had made some new friends. There was a Dutch lady led on a sun lounger soaking in the sun, and another lady from Adelaide, Australia. It was this woman Sarah was conversing with, I joined in halfway through. We covered various topics, and explained to her what sharing a dorm room was like. She didn’t know how we did it, saying it would be her worst nightmare. That was the perfect time to tell her of the drunken Brit from Chiang Mai. By the end of the conversation we still didn’t get her name, so “she” will have to suffice for now. The lady explained to us how she’d set up a business back in Australia selling small decorative items. She was a stylist, and came to Thailand to buy small, or big pieces, to sell in her shop. At one point the conversation shifted towards the Big Gulp in Sarah’s hands. You should know that Sarah has the best teeth I have ever seen, and I don’t know how. She has never had any removed (other than the wisdoms) or any fillings. She drinks coke like its water, and even swishes it around her mouth before swallowing. She claims it’s like the dirty penny effect, should you put the coin in a cup of coke eventually the liquid erodes the dirt and you’re left with a shiny penny. But after our new Australian friend warned her of the downside to coke, it looked as though Sarah might stop drinking the stuff. She told Sarah how she had some friends back home who used to drink it all the time, mostly diet, and their teeth had turned yellow. We explained how Sarah’s teeth were great, and then she dropped the one word no woman likes to hear “cellulite”. She said how all her friends that drank the stuff ended up with lots of cellulite, mostly around their thighs and stomach. Sarah let out a loud whine, then looked at the coke in her large cup disappointedly.

• Shortly after that, the Australian lady left us and we remained by the pool. I read another chapter in my book, and we were eventually joined by that couple from the truck in Chiang Mai. Remember, where the guy was punching above his weight. They’d been staying at our resort for the same amount of time as us. Now they were down to their swimming costumes it was even more evident he was out of her league (if there is such a thing). I later discovered that Sarah agreed with me on this point, only after she brought up the subject. We presumed them to be Swedish, the girl had really thick blonde hair, a slim build, and really large breasts – Sarah’s words not mine. Although, Sarah was more focused on the girls hair and waist, whereas I was… Ah hem. When the sun had disappeared behind the trees I returned to the room, leaving Sarah with her girl crush and the tubby man.

• When Sarah came back we watched some tv shows, and after that we showered. In our bathroom, and I am still confused as to how this happened, there was a frog on one of the support beams. There was no way the frog could have jumped that high, and there were too many smaller beams blocking his way to have walked there. The only thing I can presume was that it could grip to surfaces like the geckos. I took a picture of the odd event to show you guys, then returned to the room to get dressed.

• It was significantly cooler in the evenings so we took a stroll into town for tea. As we reached the bridge there were more flying insects than ever around the lights, so to avoid them pitching on us we ran across the bridge. Probably not the best idea, as they ended up smacking into us the faster we went. In town Sarah made the decision of where we ate. She chose the Witching Well again, and we both had delicious belly filling food. Afterwards we walked around town, where we discovered it was completely dead, compared to last time at least. It must have been low season, as the majority of the shops were closed, and there were hardly any travellers browsing the market stalls. Back in November of last year the streets were alive, now they were just a poor reflection of that time. Sarah was tempted to get a pedicure, but decided to skip it when she discovered she’d have to wait half an hour. In the end we grabbed a bottle of water in a convenience store and returned to our resort.

• We went through the evening rituals as usual, with Sarah being scared of her own shadow as we left the confines of our room to walk around the back to the bathroom. The frog had disappeared by now, leaving me even more baffled as to where it went. When we got back into our room and into bed, we decided to watch a movie. Because of the late night I had the previous evening I knew I wasn’t able to stay awake for the whole thing. I struggled to keep my eyes open all the way through, and missed the majority of what happened. In the end I gave up and fell asleep, leaving Sarah to stay up reading her kindle when the movie ended.

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