Day 156: Benny Side Up

If I had to describe today in one word I’d have to say “lazy”. On both our behalves. We stayed around the resort all day, only leaving at one point for water, and again in the evening for food. Read on as I explain the happenings of this uneventful day…

• Somehow, unbeknown to me, Sarah managed to sleep for well over 13 hours. I was the first to wake again, and I sneaked out the room with some oranges and our tablet device in hand. I got myself comfortable in the hammock and for the following 3 hours I enjoyed back to back episodes of Spartacus. Secretly I quite enjoy having days like today, as it means I can just relax. Sarah ambled out to me somewhere near the start of the third episode. She then began to get the cat bully’s attention. 10 minutes later Sarah returned to the room, leaving the little girl near me. This was annoying as it meant I couldn’t watch my tv show anytime she came near. Because of its violence I couldn’t give her any more ideas how to hurt the cat, and had to pause it. In the end she disappeared, and I sneaked back to the room to enjoy the rest of the episode.

• It was getting on for midday by the time I finished watching Spartacus, and Sarah still appeared in no mood to do anything. I had a quick shower and suggested the pair of us go for brunch at our resort’s restaurant.

• Much to Sarah’s annoyance I had another plate of pad thai. She suggested I tried something different, but I sarcastically retorted that I was eating traditionally – something she said I wasn’t doing whenever I had McDonald’s in the past. Even then Sarah had an answer for that, she claimed that pad thai was probably the most western dish of Thailand. I. Can’t. Win. Sarah was still feeling a bit ill, so she couldn’t eat the whole of her continental breakfast, giving me extra calories when I finished it off. It was after brunch that we decided not to risk going anywhere, because Sarah still wasn’t feeling right it wouldn’t have been a good idea to leave the amenities of our hut.

• Sarah spent the whole of the afternoon in the hammock on our porch. I remained indoors for about an hour, checking over old blogs, going on IMDb, and having a quick nap, before deciding I’d continue my battle with Sarah. With my enemy injured, now would be the perfect time to strike – perhaps I’d watched too much Spartacus that day. If I were to go to the beach alone, surely then I’d get a lead on Sarah by soaking up more sun than her. It was decided, somewhere around 2 o’clock that afternoon I lathered myself in suntan lotion and marched to the beach.

“Beeeeeeeeen? Will you get me a fruit shake before you go?”.
“Alright, but just this once!”.
“Thank you”.

“Hello, could I get a pineapple shake plea..se.. Oh you sell watermelon ones too? I am feeling a little bit dehydrated. Ok, one pineapple and one watermelon shake please!”

As I waited for them to be made, I befriended the little blonde pug. He was certainly affectionate, as he struggled to cope with the heat of the day, he waddled over to me and sat between my feet as I petted his head. Shortly after, a little girl came over with two shakes in her hands. I returned to our hut to give Sarah hers, and I sat beside her as we drank them.

“Right, may I borrow your towel to lie on? Thank you. And I’ll take my iPod so I have something to listen to as well, hopefully it will pass the time quicker. I’ll see you in an hours time”.
“Give me a kiss before you go”.
“Dammit woman! Spartacus didn’t have this problem, can’t you see I am trying to get brown!”.

• I ended up staying on the beach for well over an hour. An hour and a half to be precise. It was a nice amount of time to have to myself, it gave me time to get lost in my little world and think about a lot of things. Like what I have left behind at home to be here, and the people I had to say goodbye to. For a second, a moment of homesickness washed over me, but it soon passed, as ultimately I know that greater opportunities lay ahead. For the whole duration I led on my back as Sarah had a browner front than me and I wanted to beat her. I dealt with the sweaty face by constantly wiping it every 5 minutes, and by the time I left, I was a sexy slippery sweaty mess from head to toe – and quite possibly, a shade browner! But I was right to take my iPod, it didn’t feel so long when I had some music to listen to. Although thanks to the music, I think I may have over done it slightly. As I made my way back to our hut I found myself staggering side to side from the heat. I was probably a little lightheaded and dehydrated. Never a good combination.

• When I returned to the room I found Sarah had moved from one horizontal location to another, the bed. You should have seen me everyone, I was glistening from head to toe, and because it had been a week since I properly exercised I thought it best to do some more. I was already sweaty so what was the harm. I began doing sit ups and press ups, and when I was done I had a well deserved shower.

• Feeling a little bit fresher, and looking a little darker, I grabbed a pair of boardies and made my way to the 7Eleven for water. Leaving Sarah to relax on the bed, she was sure to give me a request before I left though. “Could you grab me a bottle of coke zero please?” We’re the last words I heard before I closed the door. I was feeling better after the cooling shower, but still felt extremely thirsty. I made it to the shop without passing out, grabbed two big bottles of water – and Sarah’s bottle of coke, then began walking back. During that walk I managed to consume one whole bottle, that was 1.5L of water. My body began to sweat as water purged through my system. I grabbed yet another roll of toilet paper, no thanks to Sarah’s greedy girly ways consuming the previous two – they must think I go like a trooper, because I’m the only one who asks for a new roll everyday. Then I returned to the room with spoils in hand.

• I stayed in our wooden haven for the rest of the afternoon, watching the sun set from the comfort of the bed this time. Although I did pop out to get a glimpse of its beauty. The sky was a little hazier this time around, making the clouds surrounding the sun a vivid pink and orange – like a giant floating fruit salad sweet. Sarah then shouted the words “oh dear”, at me.
“Yes, this is it”, I thought. “She’s finally acknowledged that I have beaten her tan!”.
“Look at how red your face is!”.
“Ah ha, do you accept defeat?…. Wait, what?”
“Your face, it’s really burned, go and put some after sun on it, did you even apply suntan lotion before you went out?”.
“Don’t be so condescending, of course I did. History has proven time and time again that if I don’t apply it, my face burns. I made sure to put plenty of the stuff on. In fact I probably used about 90% of what was left in the bottle on my face!”
“Well it doesn’t look like it!”

• For the record ladies and gentlemen I did apply it to my face, I must have wiped it off every time I sweat. I don’t even like sitting in the sun, but for some reason, today I found it an appealing activity. Probably because I knew we weren’t doing anything else, and I’d only be stuck in the room otherwise.

• After the sun had set, and the moon punched the clock to start its shift, Sarah had a shower. And after that, we applied the deet spray and left for the Italian restaurant, for the third night running.

• Ah-ha, jokes on you readers, we didn’t go to the Italian restaurant because Sarah said the Internet wasn’t good enough. It’s a sorry state of affairs when you begin picking places to eat based on the quality of their wifi connection over their food . But that’s what we did, and we ended up choosing a little place opposite the Italian. “How’d you like that Italian joint? Cheating on you right in front your face!”. I had two meals, on account of not eating much that day. I ordered the beef burger and a chicken cashew dish. They hit the spot, and after eating we stayed for a couple hours. We used that time to phone our families. They were all well and healthy, and at the end of the conversation I had with my mum, she told me the most alarming news. Casually she said “oh, you’ll never guess what. Less than 24 hours ago I was struck by lightning! It was the strangest thing”. She claimed it was the loudest crash of thunder she had ever heard, and the brightest flash of lightning. My mum went on to say it happened directly above her, and for the next 40 minutes she found it hard to breath and had a pain in her chest. Even the garage she left shortly before suffered electrical faults with their equipment. I don’t think it could have hit her directly (as people tend to die when that happens). If anything, it was more likely that the lightning reverberated off something before reaching her. In any case, all I know is she survived and is ok – and there is a slight chance she might now be a superhero. But what I think we should all be taking away from this is… I AM THE SON OF THE CHOSEN ONE!!!

• When we finished our phone calls, we paid the bill and began walking back towards the resort. We stopped at the fruit stall for another kilogram of oranges, and Sarah even bought a sarong at the shop next door. The night turned a little bit weird as we grew closer to our destination. In the distance we could see the silhouette of a very thin girl carrying a bag. She was staggering all over the place, and after she walked 10 steps forward she began retracing her steps. At first we thought it was a drunken local, but when we got a little bit closer we saw it was a westerner. Sarah made a point of going over to make sure she was ok and asked if she needed any help, to which the girl responded by saying she was fine – you didn’t look it love! Sarah made sure the girl got out of the road, but we couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her, there was nowhere around that you could get that drunk. Which either meant she suffered from something and forgot to take her medication, or perhaps she had taken drugs. She ended up staggering down the same side street as us and walked into a resort – with her bag containing a solemn melon in tow.

• Back at our hut we were greeted by the dozing cat from the other day. It was very friendly, and there was no sign of the vicious cat hating child in sight. We took some time to pet it, then Sarah gave it a name: Black Jack. Even though it was a girl. She walked around the porch, rubbing herself against everything insight (the cat not Sarah), and when she was happy she poked her tongue out. Before leaving her to it and entering our room, we made a little bed for her using the two cushion on our bench. We placed her on it, but I don’t think she stayed for long before hopping off to rub against more objects.

• In the room we got ready for bed, and this evening we had a large choice of tv shows to watch thanks to the fast Internet during dinner. I then climbed into bed alongside Sarah and began to work on my blog while she watched tv. The more I typed, the more I began to think about the phone call I had with my mum, and how it’s put me under a lot of pressure. I mean if I truly am the son of the chosen one, then I seriously have to do some reevaluating of my lifestyle choices!

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