There is nothing to read here. Honestly, today was a complete right off. The reason being the hangovers we had sustained. I believe it was repentance for the terrible crimes we committed the night before. Dear lord please forgive us, if you could find it in your heart to take away these hangovers we shall never do it again… At least, not until next time. My goodness today was hard work, but easy typing for the blog, it went a little something like this:
• By the time Sarah and I woke up, showered and dressed it was nearing 12pm (check out time). We scooted out the front door, across the street and immediately checked in to our new place.
• We then set the a/c to cool down the room and set about finding somewhere for breakfast.
• There was a building which was always rammed with people called “Number 6 Restaurant”. We spotted a couple free seats and decided to eat there. I had a standard dish (Pad Thai), for the first time in my life I didn’t know what my body wanted. I was so hungover that I felt like everything inside of me wanted to be outside, and had no preference how it went about its escape. I managed to keep it together and finished my food and washed it down with my watermelon shake. I soon felt better for eating.
• We then paid and returned to the room, stopping in a travel agent to enquire about buses to Krabi.
• The room was lovely and cool when we returned. We stayed there for the best part of the day, only venturing out at 5:30pm to visit a market and find some food.
• Along the way we were haggled by all the people trying to sell suits/ DVDs/ clothes. If it wasn’t them it was tuktuk drivers or club reps. The worst people to annoy me, and they really did annoy me, were the guys holding Slow Lorises in their hands. These sick people (I later found out) take these poor defenceless creatures from their natural habitats (the jungles nearby) and remove their teeth without anaesthetic, all so people might pay to take a picture with one. The reason for the teeth removal? Let me tell you, when a Loris eats food, it secretes a substance which gives it a venomous bite. Their diets only consist of berries, fruits and insects and they are nocturnal creatures used to the quiet and calm. Now, because of these horrible men, they are forced into loud busy streets and hundreds of people. One poor little Loris was so scared that it covered its eyes with its hands to hide. They almost look human like, google it and tell me they’re not cute. If any of you should end up out this way, don’t pay to have a picture taken because you’re only funding the sick trade. The most annoying thing is that you can’t report it to anyone, it would fall on deaf ears. There seems to be no way to stop it!!!
• Sarah and I continued to walk around the streets to see what we could find, an act which was extremely difficult. My navigational abilities seemed somewhat hindered by the effects of the alcohol. We stopped in one shopping plaza which sold large models of characters from famous movies. The most impressive was probably the King Kong one, or the head of an Alien, from the movie – Aliens. Although there was a life sized Gremlin which was pretty spectacular. I could’ve stayed for ages admiring them, in the end we left and continued on our way.
• We stopped in one restaurant at the end of an alley of market stalls, mostly out of fear of walking back passed the haggling stalls. We left soon after receiving the disappointing and overpriced menu. Thank goodness we did as otherwise we wouldn’t have found the Italian restaurant a little farther down the road.
• The man outside was Italian, he beckoned us over and explained that the pizzas were cooked in a stone baked oven and no gas or electric was used. He was very particular about that, and made a great deal about emphasising the point. He spoke with great passion and showed us the picture of him with his mother and father who worked in the kitchen. Seeing as we were hungover a pizza would go perfectly with it.
• After eating and paying the bill, we slowly made our way back to the hotel. On the way, we stopped in the travel agent and booked up a bus to Krabi for 7:30 the following morning.
• We then sat in the lobby of our guesthouse, the only place we could get WiFi, and booked up accommodation for the next day. I have to say, it was much cheaper than where we currently were. I returned to the room to grab the tablet device (as I was bored just sat there watching Sarah chat to her friends online). I’m glad I did, as when I reached the hallway to our room I saw something a bit special. A real life barbie. This girl stood around 5 foot, peroxide blonde hair, was extremely tanned, lots of make up and a chest so big and fake it was practically falling out of her tiny pink vest (tasty). She had a matching male counter part with her. He too looked a bit fake, wearing a low v cut t shirt, dark tan and a hip hop vibe about him, they made a right pair. When I returned to Sarah to explain what I had just seen, I was happy that they came down the stairs so she could see for herself. They were shortly followed by 2 more equally dressed up girls. Either that man was a stud, or he was their pimp… How much for the blonde?
• We returned to the room soon after, and remained there for the rest of the night. We put the tv on in the background, and Sarah put her head back into the kindle. I only left later on to write to our good friend James (to see if his hangover had improved since our last conversation earlier that day – it hadn’t). While I was there I witnessed a fat girl being carried back to her room by two men (too much booze). I also saw the three fakes and the hip hop star return. He looked to be cosier with the other girl this time, leading me to believe he was probably a stud. Goodness knows what their arrangements were.
• I then cleaned my teeth, banged out this blog, and went to sleep. With a dreaded alarm clock set for 6:50am – eek.
So there you have it, my day as a hungover Benjamin. I will leave you with this solid piece of advice. If you’re going to drink, for the love of god do it responsibly, and never, ever, ever visit a strip club where you can slap the dancers, it only evokes more drinking!!!!