Day 37: Ten Pin Drunkenness

The day started out like all the best ones, with a lye in. Brandon, for some unknown reason, decided he’d get up early around eight am, and, go for a morning massage. While Sarah, Jenna and myself stayed in bed sleeping. We eventually got up around ten thirty when Brandon returned, then went for breakfast, with Charlotte and Cleo joining us. We visited a small cafe which was situated alongside the Mekong River. Here, we ordered some baguettes, however, they didn’t compare to the ones our wife prepared in the evenings. The soundtrack to breakfast consisted of two pigs squealing their hearts out. Upon further inspection, it transpired, one of the locals was trying to move a pig from the boat to the shore, however, out of fear, the pig walked backwards and fell off the boat. As we returned to our hostel, we witnessed one of the pigs being whipped with bamboo, then pulled by the ear in an attempt to move it on to a vehicle. It wasn’t a nice sight to see, as the pig was squealing even loader than before, we couldn’t do anything but walk by and endure it. I am surprised we haven’t seen more sights like that here to be honest, as I don’t believe animals get the same level of care they do back home.

Upon returning to the hostel, the girls flicked through a lonely planet guidebook to see what there was to do in Luang Prabang. They discovered we could visit a small village across the Mekong River, famous for it’s pottery making abilities. So, with that, we went to a nearby tourist stand, where the man working there told us we could go to the river and hire a boat to get us across. When we arrived, there was a guy kind enough to drive us twenty minutes down river in his boat. He pulled up alongside the village entrance, and asked us for money, not wanting to become stranded, we told the driver we’d pay afterwards. Next, came the climbing of some steep steps, to get us to the village. We mastered that goal, then, had to pay ten thousand kip each, to gain entrance. We couldn’t help but feel ripped off as we walked around, as, there were no villagers in sight. As we progressed along the pathway, I noticed all of the rubbish on the floor from sweet wrappers, to empty drink cartons. The villagers, also had lots of ducks, and chickens, which we were told, they sold at markets, for around sixty thousand kip each.

Eventually, we entered a pottery barn, where several people were working on large vases. I felt slightly bad by this point, as there we were, the five of us, parading around sporting expensive pieces of equipment, from cameras to sunglasses, and me, with a full tattoo sleeve. The villagers must be sick with tourists poking their noses in when they’re just trying to go about their day, the only reason they probably allow us in, is down to the fact we pay to go there. While we were being shown where they get their clay from, we heard children’s voices in the distance. We asked if we could see the children in school, and our guide agreed. As we walked around, there were five different classrooms, all learning different stages of education. The children were all very friendly, smiling, and laughing, which made for lovely photographs, while, in the background, two boys were having a peeing competition. After leaving the school area, we wanted to buy something from the villagers to help them out. The only items they had were that of any convenience store, so, Sarah bought some boiled sweets, and proceeded to give them to local village children. We hopped back on the boat, and returned to our hostel, where we chilled out for a couple hours, during which time, we made some calls back home, on Skype. By this point, we were pretty hungry, which meant there was only one person we wanted to see… our wife.

Brandon, Sarah, and I, went to see her, with our tails between our legs, after having cheated on her with another lady the previous night. We sat beside her stall to eat her pieces of heaven, when, all of a sudden, Dominica arrived. She too ordered a sandwich, then, when we were done, Brandon returned to the hostel, and Dominica, Sarah and myself, walked around the market stalls. I swear that is the last time I will walk around that particular market, as, each stall has a gazebo to protect it from the rain (on the rare chance it actually does). This was a good idea, but with me being over six foot, it meant I had to hunch under ever single one as I walked around, the whole place resembled that of a blanket fort you’d build in your living rooms as children. While we were there, Sarah bought a new pair of parachute pants, and I, like usual, bought nothing. When we were done, we returned to the hostel, where the four of us (Brandon, Jenna, Sarah and myself) hung out for a few hours. Eventually, we made it outside where we bought some lion whisky and drank into the night, while our canine friend joined us under the table. We stayed at the hostel for a few more hours before deciding to visit a local bowling alley, as this place skipped the whole curfew law. Here, I came second to last at a game we all played, as well as getting into trouble after throwing two balls simultaneously down the alley. When our first game was over, we decided to call it a night, and, return to our tuktuk, for a ride home.

During this ride, Brandon, in his drunken state, climbed to the roof of the tuktuk and remained there until we arrived at the hostel. When we stopped, the driver attempted to demand more money from us, however, seeing as we all had a few drinks on board, we told the driver we were only going to pay the original price he set before we left. He didn’t seem to appreciate this, but, we didn’t care, and walked away regardless. We walked passed our hostel, with Sarah suggesting we pay the man the full amount he cheekily asked for, as she was paranoid because he was watching where we headed. Instead, we turned around, and walked back, not caring if the tuktuk man was looking or not, while our little buddy snaggle, ran up the road towards him, in a ferocious manner. When we reached our hostel, the doors were locked, but, with a slight bit of persuasion (in the form of repeated banging, from Brandon) we were soon let in. In our room, we were all quite drunk, we had a good laugh giving each other some banter, until we fell asleep, one by one, awaiting the entertainment, in the form of Brandon’s sleep talking.

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